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The Water Cooler
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I need your thoughts and prayers to help me cope...
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<blockquote data-quote="E-Rawk" data-source="post: 2086665" data-attributes="member: 27057"><p>I'm new here, but I went through a divorce several years back and the person who really pulled me through it was my father. He and my mother had divorced when I was around 5 years old and he had some sage words for me that no one was able to offer him. If it's gone too far to fix then its time to let it go completely. </p><p></p><p>Dad laid it out pretty rough for me while we were fishing in Mexico as my ex-wife was in court finishing the divorce process, but it got my attention. He said, "Son, the woman you loved and married doesn't exist anymore. The man she loved and married doesn't exist anymore either. You both died when you decided to part ways. You're going to need to convince yourself that she died just to get yourself past her not being around. Grieve, but don't hold a grudge. Mourn your loss, but don't let it ruin you as a man. Things don't always go the way we want them to; people grow apart, people change. Just continue being who you were raised to be, things will come around to you again. It's not the end of life, just the end of this part of it."</p><p></p><p>This was the most intense and intimate conversation my father and I have ever had. It didn't last long, but it forever changed the way I saw him as a man. I firmly believe he saved my life that day in the boat. I started sleeping better, I was actually able to keep a meal down for the first time in weeks. </p><p></p><p>I'm only 28 years old, I'm nearing my 2nd anniversary with my current wife. I'm in a better place in the world because of my experiences with my previous marriage. I wouldn't change that for anything now.</p><p></p><p>*Edit* Keep your head up. Things will get better, don't play the what if game. Asking yourself "What if I had..." only leads to more regret and more questions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="E-Rawk, post: 2086665, member: 27057"] I'm new here, but I went through a divorce several years back and the person who really pulled me through it was my father. He and my mother had divorced when I was around 5 years old and he had some sage words for me that no one was able to offer him. If it's gone too far to fix then its time to let it go completely. Dad laid it out pretty rough for me while we were fishing in Mexico as my ex-wife was in court finishing the divorce process, but it got my attention. He said, "Son, the woman you loved and married doesn't exist anymore. The man she loved and married doesn't exist anymore either. You both died when you decided to part ways. You're going to need to convince yourself that she died just to get yourself past her not being around. Grieve, but don't hold a grudge. Mourn your loss, but don't let it ruin you as a man. Things don't always go the way we want them to; people grow apart, people change. Just continue being who you were raised to be, things will come around to you again. It's not the end of life, just the end of this part of it." This was the most intense and intimate conversation my father and I have ever had. It didn't last long, but it forever changed the way I saw him as a man. I firmly believe he saved my life that day in the boat. I started sleeping better, I was actually able to keep a meal down for the first time in weeks. I'm only 28 years old, I'm nearing my 2nd anniversary with my current wife. I'm in a better place in the world because of my experiences with my previous marriage. I wouldn't change that for anything now. *Edit* Keep your head up. Things will get better, don't play the what if game. Asking yourself "What if I had..." only leads to more regret and more questions. [/QUOTE]
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