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The Water Cooler
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Practical Jokes - Serve em up here!
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<blockquote data-quote="turkeyrun" data-source="post: 4214973" data-attributes="member: 27991"><p>In HS, English teacher asked me to take her van to auto shop for plugs change. While in the shop, rewired the volume control on the radio through the gas pedal.</p><p></p><p>Next day, she says the van runs smooth, but she couldn't go over 30 mph because of the loudness.</p><p></p><p>------------‐-</p><p></p><p>A co-worker could not stay awake during night shift. As long as you weren't in a sleeping position, supervisor would shake you awake and make you walk outside.</p><p></p><p>Several nights and boss was fed up. He came through Control Room and Larry was asleep in desk chair; head dropped back and mouth wide open.</p><p></p><p>Boss hands me a bottle of hand lotion and says to give Larry a squirt, at same time boss steps in close and unzips his pants.</p><p></p><p>I give a full squirt, Larry sputters and boss jumps back, zipping his pants.</p><p></p><p>12 others laughing, as Larry runs down the hall, gagging.</p><p></p><p>----------------------</p><p></p><p>Had a hunting buddy that was extremely scared of snakes. </p><p></p><p>We were duck hunting, unusually warm weekend. We put a rubber snake against the middle seat in our Jon boat. Tied mono fishing line to it and run the line to the corner of our blind.</p><p></p><p>We had several ducks down and suggested Rodney go pick them up. He starts paddling out and the snake crawls up his leg. He screams like a 4 year old, grabs his shotgun and blasts the snake with 3 rounds of 3" 12 gauge. He turns to see us laughing, as the Titanic slowly sinks.</p><p></p><p>Luckily, the water from the blind to the bank was less than knee deep. Rodney never figured out the snake wasn't real.</p><p></p><p>--------------------------</p><p></p><p>We had a refrigerator scrounge at work. Food was constantly disappearing. After my lunch vanished ONCE, I took some dark walnut stain, mixed in jalapeño juice and soaked saw dust. Stirred in some wood glue and formed some "brownies". Soaked in some more pepper juice. Took to work and put a small plate in the refrigerator. </p><p>It wasn't long and we hear a commotion in the kitchen. New Boss is guzzling water, spitting up in the sink, sweating profusely and cussing loudly, "those are the hottest, nastiest tasting brownies. Who eats that shirt? Those MFrs are F****** HOT!"</p><p></p><p>A co-worker (a sweet, grandmother) says, "well, evidently they aren't yours!. If it ain't yours, don't f*****g touch it."</p><p></p><p>He forever thought she set him up and we never had another disappearance.</p><p></p><p>--‐---‐-----------</p><p></p><p>Lastly</p><p></p><p>In HS, one of the cheerleaders was always asking everybody around, if they had any gum.</p><p></p><p>Show up for History final exam. She is bumming gum. Someone gave her a box of Chicklets. She chews the entire box.</p><p>About halfway through class, she jumps and runs. Didn't make it.</p><p></p><p>At graduation, as she walked the stage, several called out, "do you want some gum?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="turkeyrun, post: 4214973, member: 27991"] In HS, English teacher asked me to take her van to auto shop for plugs change. While in the shop, rewired the volume control on the radio through the gas pedal. Next day, she says the van runs smooth, but she couldn't go over 30 mph because of the loudness. ------------‐- A co-worker could not stay awake during night shift. As long as you weren't in a sleeping position, supervisor would shake you awake and make you walk outside. Several nights and boss was fed up. He came through Control Room and Larry was asleep in desk chair; head dropped back and mouth wide open. Boss hands me a bottle of hand lotion and says to give Larry a squirt, at same time boss steps in close and unzips his pants. I give a full squirt, Larry sputters and boss jumps back, zipping his pants. 12 others laughing, as Larry runs down the hall, gagging. ---------------------- Had a hunting buddy that was extremely scared of snakes. We were duck hunting, unusually warm weekend. We put a rubber snake against the middle seat in our Jon boat. Tied mono fishing line to it and run the line to the corner of our blind. We had several ducks down and suggested Rodney go pick them up. He starts paddling out and the snake crawls up his leg. He screams like a 4 year old, grabs his shotgun and blasts the snake with 3 rounds of 3" 12 gauge. He turns to see us laughing, as the Titanic slowly sinks. Luckily, the water from the blind to the bank was less than knee deep. Rodney never figured out the snake wasn't real. -------------------------- We had a refrigerator scrounge at work. Food was constantly disappearing. After my lunch vanished ONCE, I took some dark walnut stain, mixed in jalapeño juice and soaked saw dust. Stirred in some wood glue and formed some "brownies". Soaked in some more pepper juice. Took to work and put a small plate in the refrigerator. It wasn't long and we hear a commotion in the kitchen. New Boss is guzzling water, spitting up in the sink, sweating profusely and cussing loudly, "those are the hottest, nastiest tasting brownies. Who eats that shirt? Those MFrs are F****** HOT!" A co-worker (a sweet, grandmother) says, "well, evidently they aren't yours!. If it ain't yours, don't f*****g touch it." He forever thought she set him up and we never had another disappearance. --‐---‐----------- Lastly In HS, one of the cheerleaders was always asking everybody around, if they had any gum. Show up for History final exam. She is bumming gum. Someone gave her a box of Chicklets. She chews the entire box. About halfway through class, she jumps and runs. Didn't make it. At graduation, as she walked the stage, several called out, "do you want some gum?" [/QUOTE]
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