The other night I heard my wife say to the dog "Just lay down and be a dog!!"
"Oh sh**! Cops are here. If you're not 21, put down the beer and HIDE!!"
Then when everyone leaves me and my roommates turn on the t.v. and drink all the free beer left at the house. Oh love college.
Then when everyone leaves me and my roommates turn on the t.v. and drink all the free beer left at the house. Oh love college.
I'm going through a divorce atm. My soon to be ex-wife has three kids right. so she says to me the other day (mind you they live in my house and I pay all the bills) "hey your going to be single soon wouldn't it be easier if you move out and let us stay here?" I almost had a heart attack from laughing so hard. She was joking in the long run but I found it extremely funny at the time. I guess you would have to know our situation and how things used to be to get the full effect of what happened but none the less it was still funny.
Oh, man, sorry about the divorce, but your story reminded me of when GC and I got together. His ex- called a couple of months after he moved in and told him he was gonna have to move back into an apartment because she needed help with the kids and she didn't want them to come to BadgeBunny's house ... Mind you that the kids had spent more time with me than their mom in the previous 6 months or so ... Go figure ...
"I thought it would be bigger than that" 
This is the kind of fun I poke at my wife with & like you get almost the same reactions.
no, everyone was not happier before your little brother was born.
I'm new here but will add mine to the list:
At a recent family gathering a couple of the smaller ones decided to dig a hole to China. One of them in all seriousness turns the other and says, "I hope we don't find the devil". My 16yo leans over and says to me, "I hope someone here knows how to play the fiddle just in case they do."
At a recent family gathering a couple of the smaller ones decided to dig a hole to China. One of them in all seriousness turns the other and says, "I hope we don't find the devil". My 16yo leans over and says to me, "I hope someone here knows how to play the fiddle just in case they do."
"why do you always let me die"
"battle rez me dammit"
I haven't had any toilet seat issues... except I prefer the lid down in addition to the seat... ***pulls out man card and prepares to hand it over***
"battle rez me dammit"
I haven't had any toilet seat issues... except I prefer the lid down in addition to the seat... ***pulls out man card and prepares to hand it over***
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