https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-members-to-wear-upc-codes-so-lobbyists-can-scan-prices-self-checkout/
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So
Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So
Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout
Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol Building, so once they've added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists can pay right on the way out.https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-members-to-wear-upc-codes-so-lobbyists-can-scan-prices-self-checkout/
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So
Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout
"Purchasing congresspeople used to be a time-consuming, expensive process," said a Planned Parenthood representative. "Now, we can simply walk through Congress, scan all the congresspeople that are for sale, and checkout without having to interact with any humans."
"We hate humans---like, a lot," the PP rep added.
One major military-industrial complex lobby group, Americans For Bigger Bombs, said they are also in support of the new move.
"When you need to make a quick pit stop at our nation's legislative body to purchase a few congresspeople to start a new war, you need to do it fast," said one AFBB lawyer. "An attack on Iran can't wait while you wheel and deal, wine and dine, and negotiate endlessly. Now, I can just scan and go."
Lol!
