Can't stand them, can't shoot em...

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okierider

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Life is to short to be angry at family. I suggest trying to make amends wherever possible. You never know when it will be to late.

I would like to agree with you on this , but, sometimes you just have to cut ties. I have changed the script with my kids and have good relationships with all 3 and my granddaughter thinks I am all that(easy to pull the wool over a 2 year olds eyes:cool:) but I have a bunch of family that I have zero contact with do to self centered BS that I absolutely do not need to deal with. Life is to short and wonderful of an experience to deal with anybody that constantly tries to crap on your parade! F' em Enjoy your life and the folks that want to enjoy it with ya.
 

okierider

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@NightShade my granddads 3rd wife did the same, the endgame is to cut you out of any will. Don't know your Dads financial situation but money and security make people act pretty ****** trying to ensure their well being at the cost of any perceived threat!! Hope you and your Dad can navigate this deal with out losing what little time you have left in each others life. Thoughts are with ya brother!
 

tRidiot

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Life is to short to be angry at family. I suggest trying to make amends wherever possible. You never know when it will be to late.

Sorry, I disagree. Got plenty of family I have nothing to do with, and my life ain't lacking for it. Ain't spoken to my brother in at least 15 years, and only once in nearly 20. Doesn't bother me a bit, he's screwed up his life over and over and I've avoided any drama associated with him due to my decision.

Mom's siblings are all likewise worthless and I have zero contact.

Hell, my mom drives me insane and at least half the time I'm around her I end up going to my room to get away or something like that.

Family ain't no different than anyone else, 'cept sometimes they think they've got some claim on your time and you have to put up with their f***ing drama and bulls*** because they're "blood". Screw that, and screw them. What life's too short for is putting up with selfish and annoying people, regardless of which cooter they popped out of.
 

NightShade

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Could be money but who knows. They were able to buy this house free and clear and stick 20K into tile, install granite countertops, buy new fridge with the screen on it, stove, dishwasher, microwave/venthood washer and dryer etc. Not sure how much they have in the bank but I know it's more than 25K.

I have no problem with him and when I was done packing stuff in and we talked for a few he said that she is being mean to him as well at times. Their interactions are not great anyway. But she has zero kids in any way shape or form anyway and when it comes down to it I am sure that she would probably sell everything and just live in a one room craphole if he wasn't there.

As far as most of my family I cut ties and about the only one left alive is a single uncle who is sitting in prison right now on a drug conviction and 4 cousins whom I have not seen in nearly 20 years. Out of those one is a derp sexual predator (at one point in time he was sitting in a crackhouse with a prostitute girlfriend and didn't know it), one is a racist gym coach the last I heard and from what I saw the other two are following in their convict fathers footsteps. I will keep my distance from all that BS. And my half sister is basically a baby factory from what I have heard and is not someone I desire to have contact with.

I should also mention that I walked away from being worth about 5 million at one point from a person being a jerk. I was partial heir to a large building among other things as I helped take care of the place at one point. So I could care less about the money my father may have or the house. If his wife wants it wants it and doesn't want me to get anything then by all means have at it and the house too. She can sit in there and rot for all I care.

As far as staying in contact with him, I will to a point but I will no longer be nice when he has his phone on speaker and she is blabering in the background. For the last couple years I have wanted to tell her to STFU or GFYS and from now on I will do just that. He will either learn to take the phone off speaker with me or she will get an ear full.
 

Glocktogo

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Both my dad and mom's families were pretty large. I spent a LOT of time with them when I was young, but it wasn't like any major attachment on my part as quite a few of them were either dour or dysfunctional. Some were just plain nuts (one even served time in Eastern State Mental Hospital up in Vinita). My dad and I fell out after he and my mom divorced, but I reconciled after I got out of the Corps and made it work until he passed.

Now that my mom and dad have passed, I see one aunt on the regular and talk to one cousin. That's about it. My wife was completely estranged from her blood relatives when I met her for the same reasons. The only one she cared for were her ex-SIL and nephew, who we still spend time with. Other than that, it's just the two of us for 25+ years now. We'll never part with each other until death. No one else is going to put up with either of our **** anyway. LOL

I can't imagine how rough the past few months have been on you. I don't even want to contemplate it. Prayers sent and hang in there, something you need will find you when you aren't even looking.
 

Shoot Summ

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I'm going to make an observation based on what I have read, I don't intend it to be mean, but perhaps some self reflection is in order?

You seem to be alienated from everyone around you, and it does sound like these folks are some interesting folks. You seem to be at the center of it all though? Is there anything different you can do?

I am in no way trying to be an ass, but I did see a common thread through all of what you posted. If there is nothing to it, then please don't be offended, I just thought it was worth mentioning.
 

MacFromOK

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I'm going to make an observation based on what I have read, I don't intend it to be mean, but perhaps some self reflection is in order?

You seem to be alienated from everyone around you, and it does sound like these folks are some interesting folks. You seem to be at the center of it all though? Is there anything different you can do?

I am in no way trying to be an ass, but I did see a common thread through all of what you posted. If there is nothing to it, then please don't be offended, I just thought it was worth mentioning.
Maybe you should read some of the several threads where John has offered to help folks for nothing (or nothing more than gas money if it's very far). And he ain't rich. ;)
 

Shoot Summ

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Maybe you should read some of the several threads where John has offered to help folks for nothing (or nothing more than gas money if it's very far). And he ain't rich. ;)

I've seen him help a lot of folks, and I really tried to word my post to not be offensive.

I guess I'm at a point in my life that I've realized that you can't change others, or force them to change. The only person you can change is yourself.

My post was a poor attempt to try to say that.
 

Free Trapper

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Guess I've just been lucky.

My folks are long gone, but we got along great.

Have one sister in Arkansas...we love each other very much.

I've been married to one of the most wonderful God fearing woman (at least that is what other people tell me) for 46 years.

WE have 3 great kids (and their spouses) 5 good grand children, and one great grand daughter.

None of us know anything about drugs, jails, or any of that crap.

Prayer and discipline works wonders.

Ok, I'll shut up now....think I'll give my maker some extra thanks tonight!
 

NightShade

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I tried very hard to get along with my mother and the rest of the family on that side. Eventually when I was quitting jobs and having other problems while trying to help them and then being insulted and berated while helping I had to quit and worry about myself. I honestly didn't really know my father most of my life. My mother loved talking about how she was married and divorced multiple times by 19. She also told me all the time that all men are a$$h0l3s and that I would be one too, I heard that from as early as I can remember. She also believed in the 4F program... Find em, Feel em, F*#@ em, and forget em. On top of that she was an alcoholic and one of the last things she told me was that she had her whole life planned out. She was going to be a stripper and this and that and the other and then she had me.

I always wondered why I couldn't have a nice family who would be there when things went bad. My own grandfather said my son was a bastard child and he wouldn't even claim him as kin. I wonder what I did wrong there and what I could have changed about myself to make it work better.

For my fathers wife, I guess I should have just turned around and left the day after she started mentioning I should go home to my father. I heard her say something and he plainly said that it was supposed to be at least 3 weeks and if it was a month it was fine. Then again I would have then had to hear about how we didn't get anything done. I still didn't get to do the one thing I really wanted to do which was go into the mountains and take a little bit of my wife's ashes there so she could have a nice view. I didn't ask for anything from them while I was there. I could have... One thing I really want to get right now is a Scuba regulator set and a tank so I can have my own to dive with whenever I want but I would NEVER ask someone to get it for me. I will scrimp and save and go without to have it. I was in pain the whole entire time I was there but I didn't complain about it. I just went to the back porch and laid down on a cot I brought along to try and let the pain ease up a little and spend time with my wife's dog who wasn't allowed inside. If you don't think I don't ask myself what I did wrong or what I could have done different to make things better you are completely wrong. I go over everything all the time, in some ways that is a curse I deal with, I spend many nights going over details to the point where I can't sleep until I literally pass out from tiredness. That was the point where I was at on the drive home, I literally started to fall asleep with my eyes open doing 75mph. I used to be able to stay awake for over 24 hours without issue but now that I am lucky to sleep 5 or 6 hours a night I just can't make it happen.

@Free Trapper and anyone else who did have good family, don't feel bad about it. It is what it is and honestly some people just shouldn't have children at all so they don't spread the dysfunctional crap along. Honestly I just needed to vent about stuff, I don't have my wife to talk about things with anymore.

I am 40 years old and my son only made it 9 days. At this point I don't want any and haven't for quite a few years. My wife told me many times that she wished she could have given me a child but she had already had a tubal ligation done and about 2 years into our marriage ended up having a hysterectomy.
 

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