suicide? on 412 yesterday in inola.

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Danny Tanner

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I have never understood why people say this. The selfish act comes from people who fail to realize the demons inside someone's head and expect them to continue to live with them so they don't have to go through losing someone. Sometimes people just get tired of all the BS of life and decide to stop dealing with it.

The only selfish act was involving someone else to accomplish his goal.

Totally agree. I believe everybody has the right to take their own life at any time they choose. I just wish in this case it didn't involve an unwilling party.

In all sincerity, and with all due respect, I seriously doubt that you have ever lain in a hospital bed and looked into the faces of those who love you, shocked a little, perhaps, at the pain and the anguish and the love that you saw in those faces, and all because selfish little you tried to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please do not ask me how I know, for I do not know you well enough to tell.

Growing up, my aunt and uncle weren't the best parents in the world for their two children, a daughter and son both being at least 5 years older than me. Because of this, my parents often took unofficial custody of my cousins and ended up raising them through at least half of their childhood. While not my biological brother, my cousin was the older brother I never had. A brother to me in every way possible, except he never picked on me like an older brother would. Instead, I learned a lot from him and my personality reflects it, especially my sense of humor (though questionable to some here, surely). While it's another questionable act, he, not my dad, was the one that I shared my first beer with when I was a teenager.

In 2009-2010, he was found at the lake with one end of a hose duct taped to his exhaust pipe and the other end inside his truck. The same spot in which his biological father took his life using the same method (not the father I initially mentioned). He was rushed to a hospital where he made it out OK after a few days. He had been fighting depression for years, but kept it hidden. You'd never know he had internal struggles unless he told you, as he seemed to be a normal, happily married guy who enjoyed the finer things in life, especially fishing. He always brightened up any room he was in. Making people laugh (hysterically, I might add) and smile was something that came as natural to him as breathing. For years he had regular visits with a counselor and was on anti-depressants, trying and trying to break free from the emotional issues he faced every day. A few months after being found at the lake, his wife had not heard from him for an unusual amount of time (a few hours). She began to worry, especially when she noticed the shotgun missing from their home. His body was found that night at the lake.

While we miss him horribly, I respect his decision. He was a grown man, he was intelligent enough to know what he was and wasn't capable of. He knew exactly what he was doing and how it'd affect those around him. If we had it our way, he'd still be with us, yet be free from the hauntings that consumed him. But to wish he were still alive today, still suffering and in pain, would be selfish of us. Suicide isn't glorious by any means, but if there's comfort to be found in it, it's knowing that my cousin is no longer hurting.
 

Lurkerinthewoods

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In all sincerity, and with all due respect, I seriously doubt that you have ever lain in a hospital bed and looked into the faces of those who love you, shocked a little, perhaps, at the pain and the anguish and the love that you saw in those faces, and all because selfish little you tried to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please do not ask me how I know, for I do not know you well enough to tell.

You're correct in your assumption. I have never attempted to end my life. I have however had a very close Aunt that suffered for over 30 years with mental illness take her life. Two years after her death when my mother let me read the note she left, I changed my opinion on suicide. But then again, I guess I think about life differently than most. I don't really like seeing people suffer. And I am sure the majority of suicides aren't a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But I guess if you're of the state of mind that you would rather see someone suffer through a battle with cancer or some other debilitating disease so you can delay your grieving, so be it. I have watched 4 grandparents die a slow death with cancer and I wouldn't wish that suffering on anyone.

I hope this gentleman's family can find peace and forgiveness.
 

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