My ex and I have divorced so that has led me and my daughter to being much closer. A lot more one on one time with each other. My favorite part is when we go to bed she will lay there for a second and say "Hey Daddy, i need to borrow your arm" and makes me hold her until she falls asleep.
Our last kid is leaving the nest as we speak. Just now 18 he 'thinks' he knows it all too because we were those kiind of parents- we not only pushed our kids to learn everything they could but also to question everything (his mother was more patient with the 1000s of questions, naturally), as well as to not to take any **** from anybody and be able to back up your smartazz mouth (my department). Looking back on his life and our life with him is what I did yesterday afternoon. At the bank we had to formally take his juvenile accounts and update them to adult accounts. I signed papers signing over some of his college trust money (money we put aside when they were young along with the kids own money they added themselves: watching a kid put a $10 birthday check from gramma in the bank for college some day might seem weird and a long shot but watching them see how much they saved later in life when its time to withdraw it is priceless) to him into his own accounts so that he can pay upcoming 1st semester college bills and helped him navigate some small financial oceans that from now on he will have to maintain on his own without our help, for once. (Doesnt mean that me the helicopter dad wont be checking up on him behind the scenes, because yes I will, thats what we have done their entire lives). The same kid who at 4 came into my life when I married his mother, him, and his older sister and joined them with my own 3 daughters and son (along with my 3 still friendly ex wives, their husbands and new kids)- making one big weird dysfunctional family.
The best part about being a dad to me is when they dont need you any more, because thats when you know you did your job and if you did it well, because its all been about preparing them to be able to do things on their own from day one. They were ready to poop on their own- even tho they were making a mess doing it you let them learn it-and cleaned them up; they rode that bike on their own for once, with you still standing there nervously watching and hoping they dont flip it and knock some teeth out or break an arm; they drive that stickshift car with you in the passenger seat trying not to count how many times they grind the gears while trying to get it (you have to hold back your criticism as best as you can in order for them to feel like they did it on their own); and then you help them pack up their most valuable stuff that they have accumulated most of their young lives along with the new stuff mom helped them with; and then the worst experience in the world: watching them drive away in their own car out of your driveway out on to that road that will take them off to their new 'life'. (I remember when I did just that and that feeling of real freedom as well that weird feeling in your stomach about how youre going to be able to do all youre supposed to do to survive on your own). Even tho Ive done it more than once, and even tho Im a big boy and an old tough guy- I still cried like a baby, one more time. The last kid, the last time we will experience this. But if I did my job right he will be ok, more than ok, and like the older kids before him, hes going to kick azz and take names. Just like he was taught.
The best part about being a dad to me is when they dont need you any more, because thats when you know you did your job and if you did it well, because its all been about preparing them to be able to do things on their own from day one. They were ready to poop on their own- even tho they were making a mess doing it you let them learn it-and cleaned them up; they rode that bike on their own for once, with you still standing there nervously watching and hoping they dont flip it and knock some teeth out or break an arm; they drive that stickshift car with you in the passenger seat trying not to count how many times they grind the gears while trying to get it (you have to hold back your criticism as best as you can in order for them to feel like they did it on their own); and then you help them pack up their most valuable stuff that they have accumulated most of their young lives along with the new stuff mom helped them with; and then the worst experience in the world: watching them drive away in their own car out of your driveway out on to that road that will take them off to their new 'life'. (I remember when I did just that and that feeling of real freedom as well that weird feeling in your stomach about how youre going to be able to do all youre supposed to do to survive on your own). Even tho Ive done it more than once, and even tho Im a big boy and an old tough guy- I still cried like a baby, one more time. The last kid, the last time we will experience this. But if I did my job right he will be ok, more than ok, and like the older kids before him, hes going to kick azz and take names. Just like he was taught.
Last edited:
I hear ya. I'm 35 myself and wish I had gotten started earlier.
Well said. My son turns 10 in a week and a half. I can't believe he is already that old. Makes me sad. But fortunately we are extremely close. I love everything about being a father. Except worrying about him being safe all the time. I always worry when he is on school and I'm not there to keep him safe. But beyond that being a father has helped me mature in ways I never could have otherwise. I just wish I would have had another one about the same time as my son. He always talks about wanting a brother. But they would be too far apart now.
Mine son is 10 also....and yes, definitely plenty of fear in the mix!
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2013
- Messages
- 2,168
- Reaction score
- 46
Pregnancy sex.
Somebody had to say it.
Somebody had to say it.
That right there. After I read this I remembered that you had brought your daughter to a transaction between us and how she reminded me of my little girl. Jeez, little girls make me melt. Mine's 14 now and still Daddy's girl. Best thing about being Dad? All of the times it has just been the two of us.
There's a time where they really really think you're Superman. It's awesome!
It passes, of course...
But, I'm still at the point where my youngest thinks the best, most "funnest" things to do are going to the range and camping with Dad. Wouldn't change that for all the tea in China.
It passes, of course...
But, I'm still at the point where my youngest thinks the best, most "funnest" things to do are going to the range and camping with Dad. Wouldn't change that for all the tea in China.
Honestly. I think its them laughing and smiling.
I used to be their HERO when they was young and i couldn't afford jack ****. Hell- we thought it was an awsome Friday night if we got a bucket of bluebell ice cream!!
Now they are teenagers and im a ZERO. Now im comfortable and could spend a lot on doing stuff but they just dont want to do anything as teenagers.
I used to be their HERO when they was young and i couldn't afford jack ****. Hell- we thought it was an awsome Friday night if we got a bucket of bluebell ice cream!!
Now they are teenagers and im a ZERO. Now im comfortable and could spend a lot on doing stuff but they just dont want to do anything as teenagers.
