Funny things said around your house

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poopgiggle

Sharpshooter
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Here is a twitter feed devoted entirely to this:

http://l.pr/a4br8/

(used a URL shortener because the username, "sh-tmydadsays" has profanity in it)

Also be warned the guy's dad uses lots of 4 letter words, so if that offends you then don't click.

Some non-profane examples:

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts.""

"Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."

"I hate paying bills... Son, don't say "me too." I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of "go away.""

This one is too funny to leave out, but it's edited:

"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown f-----g toenail. Stop b----ing."

E: OK one more
"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."
 

DaveTec

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"If you don't get in there and clean your room, I'm going to punch yous in the throat."

"I sure hope that smelled better when you ate it!"
 

PITT

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"Are you gonna put on pants today?"
"Why, I can watch TV, play Xbox, and do the dishes and not one of those requires pants"
"I'm so glad I married "The guy who doesnt wear pants"
"I thought it was me without pants you liked the most"
 

guns are dumb

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Here is a twitter feed devoted entirely to this:

http://l.pr/a4br8/

(used a URL shortener because the username, "sh-tmydadsays" has profanity in it)

Also be warned the guy's dad uses lots of 4 letter words, so if that offends you then don't click.

Some non-profane examples:

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts.""

"Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."

"I hate paying bills... Son, don't say "me too." I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of "go away.""

This one is too funny to leave out, but it's edited:

"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown f-----g toenail. Stop b----ing."

E: OK one more
"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."


I like this one:

"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."

Fits well with some of the junk people gripe about around here.
 

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