Ambulance at H and H

[wawazat]

I'm not trying to be argumentative or counter anything you guys have said, because those points are valid. Depression isn't that simple though. Most of my family on my dads side seem to have it to some degree and I have lived with it coming and going since I was a teenager. I wouldn't try to speak for everyone, but mine isn't that self-centered. When I would end up stuck in a low, my brain tries to convince me that I am being selfish if I don't follow through with it because I am forcing those that care about me to suffer through it with me. Luckily I still am a logical person even when in a slump and would never actually entertain giving in, but I do have stretches of a day or two where I spend more time in the quiet until it subsides. Finding very task oriented hobbies such as gunsmithing or working on the car is a great way to work through it.

I always wonder if there was anything anyone could've said to them to show them the light at the end of the tunnel and avoid the loss. At the end of the day, we have no way of knowing what made taking his own life seem like the only reasonable option left. It's a terrible tragedy.

 

[DavidMcmillan]

I had a son-in-law, a physician in Overland Park Kansas, who suffered from bi-polar. I learned a lot about mental illness during that time. His father is also a physician, and had access to some of the best care in the country. I learned that most depression, especially bi-polar, is primarily the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. An illness like cancer or any other illness. It isn't something they need to just "snap out of it" or "get your life together". This fine young man ultimately ended up taking his own life.

Help your friends or family get the help they need when you see any of the signs. And for God's sake, if you are experiencing any thoughts of ending your life, or even just feeling that you have no value, reach out for help.

 

[wawazat]

That’s a solid point as well. I have an amazing physician now that specializes in Men’s Wellness. I now do semi annual blood labs to monitor a large array of metrics, TRT, a pretty dramatic lifestyle and diet change and haven’t felt this good in probably 15 years.

If anyone is interested in, just shot me a PM and I’d be happy to share her contact info.


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[THAT Gurl]

A bunch of the older members here will remember a time I had a reaction to my blood pressure medication (atenolol). I scared the **** outta Grumpy because I called him at work and asked him to meet me for lunch -- we don't do lunch while he's in uniform. People see someone in uniform having lunch with their wife and don't stop to consider there might be something serious going on -- especially when the wife is crying her eyes out. Why was I crying?? Because I thought he had struck me the deepest, darkest betrayal any man could do to his wife. Did he cheat on me? Nope. He wouldn't help me kill myself. And I had been thinking about it for quite a while before I asked him. Why did I ask him to help me?? I didn't want him to come home and find me. That would be so much worse for him than just helping me, right?? It sounds bizarre now but at the time it made perfect sense. And I swore on a stack of Bibles tall as I am that it would be the absolute best thing that happened to all the people who know and love me. Honest. Not a selfish thought one ran through my head -- all I thought about was how much better off everyone who knew me would be.

And like that wasn't bad enough he talked me into self-admitting to Cedar Ridge. What a cluster**** that place is. I could write a book -- except One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest pretty much nailed it. And in the end, that was the kick in the ass I needed. Did they help me? **** no. They pissed me off. I refused all medications for a few days, got my senses back around me no thanks to them, and once I decided I'd had it they decided I couldn't check myself out. I bet they are STILL talking about that day in training sessions. Other people there were asking me how I did it because they had been trying to get out for WEEKS. Every one of them had good insurance. Imagine that?

I do have to say, though, when all those plants and flowers were delivered there -- and they were all there for me -- y'all ****ers made me cry like a damned baby. I'll never forgive you ****ers for that!

So all you fellas who think it's a selfish act have never been down that rabbit hole. Be grateful you can live in blissful ignorance.

 

[tRidiot]

or even just feeling that you have no value,

Some of us just learn to go on. Nothing to do about it but keep working.

 

[wawazat]

And like that wasn't bad enough he talked me into self-admitting to Cedar Ridge. What a cluster**** that place is.

Our spouses definitely feel the brunt of it if we are open enough to try to talk about it with them. My wife and I were just dating during one of my rougher times and somehow she not only decided to stick around but even wanted to be in my life forever. She knows more about what I battle through than anyone else in my life and was a huge part of me getting more proactive about finding the right solution. She had two young kids at the time and we had some very honest discussions, mostly started by me to put her mind at ease for the long term and making sure the kids came first in any decisions. I completely wrote off ever having kids once I realized this could be hereditary to make sure I didnt risk passing this on to another generation. I have no doubt that these two kids could ever be topped by another and I can still pass on most of my better traits without the genetics anyway.

The funny part is she always told me I didn't want to have to deal with HER baggage and should move along. She just saw that I had never been married and didnt have any kids, but little did she know we ALL have our own baggage if we have lived at all.

It sounds like we both hit the jackpot when it came to the partners we have ended up with!

 

[rockchalk06]

Some of us just learn to go on. Nothing to do about it but keep working.

Yep. Things get better, **** works it's self out and others rely on you to stay focused.

 

[Catt57]

I was in a very dark place once in my life. No one else knew it, but I would be driving and just think to myself, "If I just jerk the wheel it would all be over." But then thoughts of my kids would stop me from doing it. Things are much better now and they will never know how they saved me even though they were barely old enough to talk at the time.

 

[tRidiot]

I was in a very dark place once in my life. No one else knew it, but I would be driving and just think to myself, "If I just jerk the wheel it would all be over." But then thoughts of my kids would stop me from doing it. Things are much better now and they will never know how they saved me even though they were barely old enough to talk at the time.

BTDT - Emergency Medicine nearly took my life. I've been called, begged and pled with to come back, I've always said, "Never again."

I don't know if I will truly never do it again, but doing it under the circumstances I did before, never again.

 

[Seadog]

This was more recent like within the last two years

I’m thinking there was another one at H&H. Maybe about 5 years back