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The Water Cooler
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Beef Cattle Question
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<blockquote data-quote="Aries" data-source="post: 3491451" data-attributes="member: 44328"><p>I think there are some government programs that will help you learn...</p><p></p><p>----------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p></p><p>A man was attending his livestock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.</p><p></p><p>The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the man, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"</p><p></p><p>The man looks at him, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"</p><p></p><p>The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.</p><p></p><p>Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the man and says, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”</p><p></p><p>“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of them.” says the man. He watches the young man select an animal and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.</p><p></p><p>Then the man says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give it back? “</p><p></p><p>The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”</p><p></p><p>“You work for the government.” says the man.</p><p></p><p>“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”</p><p></p><p>“Well, you showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business... Those are cattle, not sheep."</p><p></p><p>"...Now give me back my dog!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Aries, post: 3491451, member: 44328"] I think there are some government programs that will help you learn... ---------------------------------------------- A man was attending his livestock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the man, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The man looks at him, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the man and says, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of them.” says the man. He watches the young man select an animal and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the man says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give it back? “ The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?” “You work for the government.” says the man. “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “Well, you showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business... Those are cattle, not sheep." "...Now give me back my dog!" [/QUOTE]
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