Bring to the bargining table redux


Special Hen
Aug 14, 2009
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When I wrote the original post, "Bring to the bargaining tables" I deliberately made extreme bold statements, while staying I thought comfortably on the sane side of the line that separates the possible from the totally die fledermaus scheisse verruckt.
When I saw the response I decided to rewrite my 10 'mandates' from the gun ban point of view. Pinky swear, this is not some Machiavellian plot to introduce fluoride into the OSF water supply. This really is what I came up with. Honest.


1: Deny elementary students any knowledge of the mechanism or usage of firearms, by a 'zero tolerance' campaign that will, among other abuses, suspend 1st graders for making an L with their fingers, pointing said fingers at one another, and saying the word 'bang'.

2: Block any legitimate possession of fire arms on Jr high and High school campuses by Zero Tolerance policies that will, among other abuses, not only expel a student, proclaiming he would never be eligible for enrollment to any of the schools under the jurisdiction of said administration, but also actively seek prosecution and a jail sentence for a student who missed a shotgun shell when unloading his car after duck hunting with his father. Which was found on a random search of student vehicles by police carried out with the cooperation and approval of the school.
Lets make sure that the only guns on campus are those carried by cops, gang banger's, and spree killers.

3: Refuse to allow classes to be taught in libraries, rec-centers, and all other municipal xor county buildings made available to residents for said purpose of teaching classes, if the class is about gun safety, from a program developed, but not taught, by the NRA.

4: Support higher prices of all rifles, shotguns, and handgun's by requiring special license and permit fees for gun stores, to ensure owning a gun is out of the price range of as many citizens as possible.

5: Support higher prices of ammunition by requiring special license and permit fees for ammo stores, to ensure target practice and gun handling skills are out of the price range of as many citizens as possible.

6: Restrict the opening xor the operation of as many ranges as possible by special license and permit fees, and through zoning laws.

7: Deny knowledge, familiarization, and ownership of fire arms among minorities by passing laws to forbid ownership when possible, and to fund propaganda campaigns designed to discourage gun ownership when outright bans are not possible.

8: Make sure print publications carry stories about criminal gun use printed on the front page for as long as possible. Any stories about self-defense while using a fire arm will be ignored or buried in the back of the paper.

9: Make sure TV xor radio news programs keep reports of criminal gun use as the lead story for as long as possible, and keep criminal gun use in the news cycle for as long as possible. Any stories about using a gun for defence should be ignored, or removed from the news cycle as quickly as possible.

10: Create rules that allow federal employees to carry guns for self defense, even if their duties do not include making arrests.


Supporting Member
Special Hen Supporter
Aug 31, 2008
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Del City
He's just printing what he DOESN'T endorse in response to the "bring to the bargaining table' thread. This post probably belongs in there.

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