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The Water Cooler
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Cutting out negativity in the form of friends and family
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<blockquote data-quote="RidgeHunter" data-source="post: 2508326" data-attributes="member: 4319"><p>Thanks for all the stories and advice, guys. I've thought about it a bit with a flyrod in my hand and a cheap cigar in my mouth and it's all laughable to me. I think I have a good plan going forward. Everyone gets to start their new holiday traditions when they have kids. I don't see why I should be excluded from that right just because I'm choosing not to have kids.</p><p></p><p>If worse comes to worse and I'm gulited into the big Christmas gathering, it's only one day. My appearance will be short and anything directed towards me, my mom, or my girlfriend will be dealt with immediately and I will leave. All the other holidays and events I won't even consider attending if my aunt/uncle's clans are there.</p><p></p><p>The hardest one is my sister. I had to stop seeing her friends, and I have to restructure my relationship with her. I still want to talk to her and see her often, but only about 'light' stuff. I can't get sucked into this again. I just hope I can make this transition tactfully without upsetting her too much. The extended family - I'm completely done with them and could care less how they feel about it. My sister I care about, don't want to hurt, and I hope she understands eventually.</p><p></p><p>Hell my dad lives ten miles from his sister and he hasn't spoken to her since the mid 90s. She has some issues on the schizo spectrum and she is a recluse who refuses treatment. She called him screaming in about 1997 and he just hung up. About 5 years ago she dropped a hateful manifesto in his mailbox. His parents are a little off, too. Buncha mental illness on the Irish side dating back many generations. </p><p></p><p>I can't use my girlfriend as a holiday excuse because she has no family, really. Abuse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, child abandonment...</p><p></p><p>...and people look at us like we're weird because we don't want kids. I'm really glad all these people had kids they fawked up, abused, and abandoned. Most people in my family, and most people I know, should have spent as much time researching contraception as I have. Most had no business having kids or even getting married. My girlfriend and I are crazy, we know it, we have no idea if we'll be able to stay together forever even though we want to...but we know damn sure we'll never make a child we can't afford and don't want. I feel like we deserve a medal. From social workers, cops, taxpayers, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RidgeHunter, post: 2508326, member: 4319"] Thanks for all the stories and advice, guys. I've thought about it a bit with a flyrod in my hand and a cheap cigar in my mouth and it's all laughable to me. I think I have a good plan going forward. Everyone gets to start their new holiday traditions when they have kids. I don't see why I should be excluded from that right just because I'm choosing not to have kids. If worse comes to worse and I'm gulited into the big Christmas gathering, it's only one day. My appearance will be short and anything directed towards me, my mom, or my girlfriend will be dealt with immediately and I will leave. All the other holidays and events I won't even consider attending if my aunt/uncle's clans are there. The hardest one is my sister. I had to stop seeing her friends, and I have to restructure my relationship with her. I still want to talk to her and see her often, but only about 'light' stuff. I can't get sucked into this again. I just hope I can make this transition tactfully without upsetting her too much. The extended family - I'm completely done with them and could care less how they feel about it. My sister I care about, don't want to hurt, and I hope she understands eventually. Hell my dad lives ten miles from his sister and he hasn't spoken to her since the mid 90s. She has some issues on the schizo spectrum and she is a recluse who refuses treatment. She called him screaming in about 1997 and he just hung up. About 5 years ago she dropped a hateful manifesto in his mailbox. His parents are a little off, too. Buncha mental illness on the Irish side dating back many generations. I can't use my girlfriend as a holiday excuse because she has no family, really. Abuse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, child abandonment... ...and people look at us like we're weird because we don't want kids. I'm really glad all these people had kids they fawked up, abused, and abandoned. Most people in my family, and most people I know, should have spent as much time researching contraception as I have. Most had no business having kids or even getting married. My girlfriend and I are crazy, we know it, we have no idea if we'll be able to stay together forever even though we want to...but we know damn sure we'll never make a child we can't afford and don't want. I feel like we deserve a medal. From social workers, cops, taxpayers, etc. [/QUOTE]
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