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The Water Cooler
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dealing with hatred
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<blockquote data-quote="Eagle Eye" data-source="post: 2786065" data-attributes="member: 34489"><p>Seems you have decided to stick with it and try to work things out. </p><p>Here is how I think about solving this situation</p><p>I would start by explaining to the involved individuals why you are mad/hate them. Explain to them that you are not a tool for them to use and then throw away. I would give specific examples... Then, I would state that I am unhappy with the way we have been living together (full of hate and misunderstanding), and that I want this to change. I will try to forget the past and live only in the present, but that you will likely behave similarly (hateful) if i were treated like before (like a tool). I would make it clear that for meaningful change to occur, both parties involved will have to change behaviors. I would never say that it is all their fault, in fact i would mostly try to focus on my own behavior and try to understand how that made them feel. Then i would expect for them to tell me how they felt. </p><p></p><p>I think thats how i would start. Since you declared your hate at a family function, you will have to do this spiel for all those that were there, all at once or individually.</p><p></p><p>edit</p><p>when i wrote..."you will have to".... i really meant... "you might consider"... with all due respect</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Eagle Eye, post: 2786065, member: 34489"] Seems you have decided to stick with it and try to work things out. Here is how I think about solving this situation I would start by explaining to the involved individuals why you are mad/hate them. Explain to them that you are not a tool for them to use and then throw away. I would give specific examples... Then, I would state that I am unhappy with the way we have been living together (full of hate and misunderstanding), and that I want this to change. I will try to forget the past and live only in the present, but that you will likely behave similarly (hateful) if i were treated like before (like a tool). I would make it clear that for meaningful change to occur, both parties involved will have to change behaviors. I would never say that it is all their fault, in fact i would mostly try to focus on my own behavior and try to understand how that made them feel. Then i would expect for them to tell me how they felt. I think thats how i would start. Since you declared your hate at a family function, you will have to do this spiel for all those that were there, all at once or individually. edit when i wrote..."you will have to".... i really meant... "you might consider"... with all due respect [/QUOTE]
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