Female Sailors: Berthing on US Navy Ships

[druryj]

The admiral stood up in front of everybody on the enormous aircraft carrier to tell them about the new regulations regarding female berthing compartments. “This is a females-only area,” he said in his best admiral voice. “If any men are caught in there, it will be an automatic $100 fine for the first offense, $200 for the second offense and $500 if you are caught there for a third time”. A young Marine raised his hand, and when acknowledged, asked the admiral: “Sir; how much for a season pass?”


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[GlockPride]

Marines may be the best crayon eaters, but man, can they read through the lines.

 

[John6185]

Marines call it the Head
Civilians call it the Bathroom
Army calls it the Latrine
Sailors call it the Head
And Air Force: They call it the Powder Room. Easiest branch of the military, hands down.

 

[SoonerP226]

Asking the four services to secure a building:

Army: Sets up fences, patrols the perimeter.
Marines: Calls in artillery and air strikes until the building is leveled.
Navy: Douses the lights and dogs the hatches.
Air Force: Takes out a 20 year lease.

 

[druryj]

The old Gunny stood silently in line at the store behind a lone young woman, his battle-scarred face weathered and worn. She couldn’t help but notice his presence, and kept catching quick glances at him as they stood there. Finally, she politely batted her eyes at him, and then she said hello, out of courtesy to the grizzled old Marine.

The Gunny just looked at her for a minute or two then said; “You must be single”. Giggling and blushing slightly, the young woman replied; “Why yes, yes I am single. How could you tell? No wedding ring on my finger?” “No,” the old Hunny answered, “I just figured you were since you’re uglier than hell.”


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[SoonerP226]

Three generals, one Army, one Marine, and one Air Force, are heading for a tour of the central compound of a combined-forces exercise. As generals will do, they got to discussing bravey and which service had the bravest troops.

They first encounter the Army area, and happen upon a smart-looking soldier in full battle gear. Immediately upon seeing the brass, he snaps to attention.

"Gentlemen, let me show you something about bravery." He turns to the soldier. "Solider! Stop that HumVee!"

"Yessir!" shouts the soldier, who then proceeds to jump in fron t of the vehicle and be smahed to the ground.

"Gentlemen," says the general, turning back to the group, "that took bravery."

The othe generals nod in agreement, and they keep moving.

Next up is the Marine Corps compound. A picture-perfect Marine stops his preparations and snaps to attention in front of the generals.

"I'll show you men guts," the Marine general says, turning to the young man. "Marine! Stop that tank!"

"Aye aye, sir!" shouts the Marine as he snaps off a perfect salute and jumps in front of the tank. As with the previous soldier, he's creamed by the vehicle.

"That," says the general to the others, "took guts."

The other generals nod, and they continue on their way. Finally, they reach the tarmac of the Air Force facilities. An obviously harried, tired looking airman in a wrinkled, grease-stained uniform is sitting on a crate next to the tarmac smoking a cigarette.

With a knowing look, the Air Force general addresses the other two. "You want to see bravery? Watch this."

He turns to the airman. "Airman! Stop that F-16!"

The airman doesn't even stand up. He looks directly at the general, the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. "Sir? You crazy, sir? F**k you, sir!"

"Now that, gentlemen," he says, turning back to the others with a smile, "that took balls!"