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The Water Cooler
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Front yard trepassing ?
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<blockquote data-quote="RidgeHunter" data-source="post: 2087390" data-attributes="member: 4319"><p>Yes, as Certified Internet Adviser, I can assure you that your right to be totally insane is protected under the constitution. </p><p></p><p>Now, I recommend you appear in your lawn with 5 days worth of unshaven neck stubble, clad only in (formerly) white briefs, 3 sizes to small. Wave a crooked finger at the mother of these 40 pound hoodlums, and rambling nonsensically about "jew government" and repeatedly ask her to "stop filming!" even though no cameras are anywhere around. If a life flight helicopter happens to pass overhead during this conversation, look at it with feral eyes and make it known that "calling in the big guns" is not going to scare you. </p><p></p><p>Come out the next morning and wait on her front porch with a bottle of orange juice, 3/4ths full. Explain that it had approximately 3/8" more orange juice in it when you went to bed last night, and if she thinks she can break in your house and drink 3/8ths of an inch of the orange juice YOU PAID FOR (yell this with a cracking voice, head quivering) without you calling her on it, then she's got another thing coming.</p><p></p><p>Now, clearly she won't see it the way we do (see that you're withing your rights, that is) so I recommend you take a copy of the BOR and wave it around during any interactions you have with the offending woman. If you don't have a copy of the BOR handy, use the back of a Cap'n Crunch box. If and when the police arrive (don't YOU call them, you idiot, they're on her side. I heard from the guy at the end of your street that she's sleeping with all the cops in your town), hand them the back of the Cap'n Crunch box and keep stating that you wish to press charges. They won't listen, but this will play well for you in court. Wait until court to throw out the bombshell that the cops were just "PROTECTING THEIR WHORE!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RidgeHunter, post: 2087390, member: 4319"] Yes, as Certified Internet Adviser, I can assure you that your right to be totally insane is protected under the constitution. Now, I recommend you appear in your lawn with 5 days worth of unshaven neck stubble, clad only in (formerly) white briefs, 3 sizes to small. Wave a crooked finger at the mother of these 40 pound hoodlums, and rambling nonsensically about "jew government" and repeatedly ask her to "stop filming!" even though no cameras are anywhere around. If a life flight helicopter happens to pass overhead during this conversation, look at it with feral eyes and make it known that "calling in the big guns" is not going to scare you. Come out the next morning and wait on her front porch with a bottle of orange juice, 3/4ths full. Explain that it had approximately 3/8" more orange juice in it when you went to bed last night, and if she thinks she can break in your house and drink 3/8ths of an inch of the orange juice YOU PAID FOR (yell this with a cracking voice, head quivering) without you calling her on it, then she's got another thing coming. Now, clearly she won't see it the way we do (see that you're withing your rights, that is) so I recommend you take a copy of the BOR and wave it around during any interactions you have with the offending woman. If you don't have a copy of the BOR handy, use the back of a Cap'n Crunch box. If and when the police arrive (don't YOU call them, you idiot, they're on her side. I heard from the guy at the end of your street that she's sleeping with all the cops in your town), hand them the back of the Cap'n Crunch box and keep stating that you wish to press charges. They won't listen, but this will play well for you in court. Wait until court to throw out the bombshell that the cops were just "PROTECTING THEIR WHORE!" [/QUOTE]
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