Funny Cop or Firefighter Stories

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SoonerP226

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I've never heard that about Audie Murphy. I'll have to look up that story.
It's in the movie adaptation of his autobiography, To Hell and Back, along with the line "that's the first time I ever saw a Texan beat himself to the draw," but I don't recall if it's actually in the book. There are some marked differences between the two--the book is far, far darker than the movie.
 

Snattlerake

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I got my Law Enforcement degree in Alva at NWOSU. While there, I, of course, knew most of the local law enforcement and spent time with them as much as I could.

A friend of mine was a jailer dispatcher for Woods County. I was sitting with him one Halloween night helping to handle the phones and the teletype while he took care of the units in the field.

It was about 1900 and almost dark outside when Ted, (can't remember his last name) the undersheriff called in.

He said, "Two sheriff's office."

My friend, "Go ahead Two."

"Two S O, ahhh, I just left my house headed west and you had better send me another unit. I have about 20 kids with thunk, splat, thwak, thud, splat, poooot, splat, thud, sploot, splat, thwak. . . . . .eggs."

(Total silence on the radio)

"Two sheriff's office."

By this time we are on the floor laughing our asses off.

My friend in the most professional tone he could muster after that, "Go ahead two."

"Ahhh two S O . . . . do you have any quarters?"
 

rickm

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It's in the movie adaptation of his autobiography, To Hell and Back, along with the line "that's the first time I ever saw a Texan beat himself to the draw," but I don't recall if it's actually in the book. There are some marked differences between the two--the book is far, far darker than the movie.
I have a copy of the original first paperbacks of To Hell and Back and the original movie was way way better than the remake of it the original was 4 hours long with only one intermission at midway point thru i have watched them both.
 

jhb33rd

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One time back in the early 90’s while working for the SO in Caddo County, I was patrolling the south part of the county. Around 3:00 am I met a pickup driving really slow and was all over the road. I turned around and stop the pickup. An Old Man, my age now, around 70 years old was driving and was well on his way to being commode hugging drunk. I recognized him and told him to lock up his pickup and leave it parked on the side of the road and I would just take him home. He only lived about a mile from where we were at.

He said Hell No, take me to jail. I told him I’d rather not, but I would just take him home. He said he’d rather go to jail than to listen to his wife chewing his a$$ out for being drunk. Now I thought that was funny so I convinced him I could get him home and he could sneak in the house without his wife even knowing it. He finally agreed.

Well, he lived about ¼ of a mile off the county road. I turned off my lights, crossed the cattle guard real easy and got him to the front of the house. He thanked me several time and told me I was a good SOB for doing this. I told him not to slam the car door but to ease it shut, go inside and sleep it off.

When he got out, and I made it around his circle drive, I flipped every switch on the console and hit the welp on the siren. Looking back in my rearview mirror, I saw the porch light come on, an old lady coming out the door, and giving him the what for. I was laughing so hard I damn near hit his cattle guard leaving his house.

His punishment from his wife was a lot worse than a night or two in the county jail. 😊

That was back in the day when you could have some fun and still do your job……
 

leemozoid

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How many of you have almost shot someone while clearing a house...only to realize the guy pointing the gun at you is your reflection in a mirror?
Never did that but I did take down a life-sized stand up of Bartles & Jaymes at gunpoint. Call was for a possible burglary (in progress). Caller said they could see shadowy figures through the sliding glass door of a home with a walk out basement.
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