Funny Cop or Firefighter Stories

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1911DA

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Years ago I used to do ride alongs with a State Trooper buddy and the County Game Warden that I had gone to school with since the 3rd grade. One night I was riding along the GW and he got a call about some road hunters on the Old Walnut Creek road so he rolled on it and we found out it was a bunch of kids trespassing and having a beer party in an old abandonded farm house that sat about 3/8 of a mile off of the gravel country road and the kids were using spot lights to find the farm road to the old house. We walked in the front door and we both knew probably 75% of the local farm kids and this was back in the mid 60's so no problem just pour all the beer out and break it up, and so they did.

We went up stairs to check that everyone was gone and as we were coming back down the triple wide stair case one of the little **holes was standing in a blind doorway at the bottom of the stairs and turned on a flashlight to light a up a scary assed halloween mask and screeched like a banshee............ the little buzzard scared the daylights out of us and we both jumped about 10 feet............ turned out it was his daughters boyfriend and my oldest son's best buddy. After our heart rate's returned to normal we had a good laugh about it.

My kids came home from school the next Monday telling stories about the party and how it ended............BUT there were very few kid's beer parties shown in the county after that because they knew they had gotten off pretty easy and after that when the GW got a call that checked out to be a bunch of kids he would call it in the Sheriff's department or the State Troopers and let them handle it.
 

Mr.Glock

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Wife ER Nurse for years. One Lady came in with a sore snatch. Her boy friend had gotten a little excited and bit her. Report said ”Bit Clit”!


One more. Sitting in Day Room one evening watching TV and a guy set down in the recliner next to me slicing an Apple, the guy next to him said “give me a bite of that Apple, guy said no a few times and then told him he if he asked again he was going to bury the knife in his leg. The guy asked again and “bam” the knife was sunk in the other guys thigh! Got to the ER and the Doc said he wanted nothing to do with it, ended up having to Doc him myself, clean it and sew it up. It was a small paring knife, 3” long.
 

Snattlerake

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Cruising one night during a storm in town I was braking to avoid the high water and I looked up and saw a bolt of lightning hit the electric pole on my immediate left. BOOOOOM! I shook it off and continued down the street. About a year later, I was training another guy and it was storming again, and again I was driving down this familiar street. I said "It was about a year ago I was driving this street during a thunderstorm like this and when I got to this pole coming up on the left, a bolt of lightning hit it."

Just then, BOOOOOM! lightning hit the same pole. My rookie, shaken, "I believe you!"
 

KurtM

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Used to live in the general area Corgi Rancher used to patrol. One night I had gone to play a pool tournament and while I was there it started to snow pretty good. After about 3 hours there was about a foot of snow on the ground, it was snowing so hard it was hard to see much past 20' in front of your windshield, a real Colorado blizzard! I decided to head home and was taking it real easy. I had had about 3 beers over 3 hours and had just finished the last one as I headed out so yes I smelled like beer.
I got about two miles from the bar and found one of Jefferson Counties finest in a ditch. I stopped to offer him a tow as I had a 4X4 truck. He came up to the window and the first thing he said was "have you been drinking"?? Well my truck is covered in snow, you can't see the license plate, and I thought do you really think I would stop if I thought I was drunk? So I looked him right in the eye and said Yeeees! As I said yes, I slowly started driving away. He yelled stop, that didn't work, he then started to run after my truck and promptly slipped and fell face first into the snow. Last I saw of him he was making snow angles trying to get up. I could hear the call in my mind, bolo for a 4X4 truck covered in snow, license unknown. Drove down the road about three miles and passed the tow truck headed the other way with a couple Sheriff's deputies following it. I laughed all the way home!
 

1911DA

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#49 just reminded me of a similar story about a officer getting stuck in snow. Near where I worked in the midwest, most employees took a hilly side street to be able to make a right turn into the plant parking lot and not have to cross 3 lanes of traffic. One week end we had the mutha of all ice storms that was followed by record snow storms then record cold temperatures. Well as the city would do they would plow the main roads and major cross streets but couldn't get thru the ice so it was slicker than snot on a greased door knob and of course traffic was all balled up every where I went. I was driving a Blazer locked up in 4 wheel drive and I cut down the hilly side street as usual and rolled a stop sign at about 3-5 mph and all of of sudden the red and blues go off right on my rear bumper so I have a very indignant officer at my window yelling and carrying on about rolling the stop sign and didn't give a **** that I didn't want to slide around and whatever so he writes be a ticket. Gee thanks for your understanding officer.............

My wife who worked in the front office was putting all the paperwork back in the glove compartment when we hear a knock on my window and its the esteemed LEO telling me he's is stuck and can I pull him out........I asked my wife for the ticket he had just written me and acted like an ******* about and I held it up in the window and said can you make this go away which of course pissed him off and I told him to call a tow truck and drove off..........a couple of people who were about 1/2-3/4 hour late were talking about a cop car really stuck in a snow bank on the hilly side street. I had to laugh my butt off about that one but I didn't drive the Blazer any more in that area the rest of the winter.........I sure hope he learned a cold hard lesson about being an *******
 

Snattlerake

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An officer with Emporia, Kansas related this to me.

It was well known during an ice storm the hootowl shift would have a little fun driving into a big shopping area parking lot and spinning the cars on the ice. Long story short, two officers had the same idea at the same time and you guessed it, WHAM! Two police cars butt to butt jackknifed upward with their trunks in the air. They had a choice of paying for the cars with a written apology to the city or being fired with charges of criminal damage to property.
 

Snattlerake

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I walked into my first agency's new digs today. They had this old cell door mounted on the wall from the old torn down jail. I remember it well.

Nobody I knew then was still around though.

~sigh~

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