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The Water Cooler
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Had a situation at my front door this evening
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<blockquote data-quote="Danny Tanner" data-source="post: 2636539" data-attributes="member: 10619"><p>I just sit down for dinner and someone excitedly rings the doorbell (by this, I mean they rang it twice with no break in between rings). Reluctantly, I place my fork down from preparing for my first bite and answer the door. It's a guy who immediately sticks his hand out and says, "Thanks for answering the door this evening." No name tag, no clipboard, no introduction, just the expectation of me shaking his hand simply because he found himself on my front porch.</p><p></p><p>I tell him, "I'm sorry man, but whatever you're selling, we're not interested." He says, "I'm not selling anything." So I respond, "I'm sorry, but good luck." and I start shutting the door. As I'm shutting it, he says, "I'm giving away money, but I'm not giving any to you, BLEH BLEH BLEH!". I say, "You need to get your ass off my property immediately." He continues, literally saying, "BLEH BLEH BLEH!" and turns around to make sure I'm still there as he's about 5 steps away from the sidewalk. I am, still inside my door just making sure he leaves, and say, "Keep it going." (as in, "keep your ass moving, not keep blabbing on like a toddler") and then he becomes a irate. Turns around, tugs at his pants, puts up his fists and says, "Come on! Whatcha gonna do?" and I remind him he has 5 seconds to get his ass off my property and take whatever he's selling and shove it up his ass. He's backing away slowly still, but yelling, "C'mon ****ot pu$$y, whatcha gon do?! Show me your MMA skills ****ot. Fight me, *****!" I say, "GO!" one more time and by this time he's on the sidewalk talking about how my wife "likes this black dikk" and various other comments relating my wife to his penis, because he was here earlier with it in her mouth, apparently. I'm mentally irate at this point, because my daughter is within earshot, but he's off my property so I close the door, lock the deadbolt, close the garage door and call the police. I step out of my side door (where he can't see me) so I can get a positive description and his direction to give to the dispatcher. </p><p></p><p>Little did he know I was armed at the time. This could have turned really nasty for him. I don't normally open the door for just anybody, but we were expecting someone we know to come look at my wife's car, so I assumed it was her. One wrong step towards the inside of my home and instead of walking away under his own power he would have been wheeled off my property under a sheet.</p><p></p><p>Just a reminder, be cautious who you allow to get your attention at the front door and don't let anybody convince you it's not okay to carry inside your own home. This man provided no introduction, no card, and had nothing with him. It wasn't until he was walking off did I see he had a black book in his back waistband. I'm going to assume he was from some church looking for donations or recruits, as most other door-to-door folk here are exterminators or children doing fundraisers, and all of them always have name tags, introduce themselves, and have more to shove in my face besides a hand. The religious promoters typically don't carry much, in my experiences.</p><p></p><p>I'm also ordering a no soliciting sign that includes all possibilities.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Danny Tanner, post: 2636539, member: 10619"] I just sit down for dinner and someone excitedly rings the doorbell (by this, I mean they rang it twice with no break in between rings). Reluctantly, I place my fork down from preparing for my first bite and answer the door. It's a guy who immediately sticks his hand out and says, "Thanks for answering the door this evening." No name tag, no clipboard, no introduction, just the expectation of me shaking his hand simply because he found himself on my front porch. I tell him, "I'm sorry man, but whatever you're selling, we're not interested." He says, "I'm not selling anything." So I respond, "I'm sorry, but good luck." and I start shutting the door. As I'm shutting it, he says, "I'm giving away money, but I'm not giving any to you, BLEH BLEH BLEH!". I say, "You need to get your ass off my property immediately." He continues, literally saying, "BLEH BLEH BLEH!" and turns around to make sure I'm still there as he's about 5 steps away from the sidewalk. I am, still inside my door just making sure he leaves, and say, "Keep it going." (as in, "keep your ass moving, not keep blabbing on like a toddler") and then he becomes a irate. Turns around, tugs at his pants, puts up his fists and says, "Come on! Whatcha gonna do?" and I remind him he has 5 seconds to get his ass off my property and take whatever he's selling and shove it up his ass. He's backing away slowly still, but yelling, "C'mon ****ot pu$$y, whatcha gon do?! Show me your MMA skills ****ot. Fight me, *****!" I say, "GO!" one more time and by this time he's on the sidewalk talking about how my wife "likes this black dikk" and various other comments relating my wife to his penis, because he was here earlier with it in her mouth, apparently. I'm mentally irate at this point, because my daughter is within earshot, but he's off my property so I close the door, lock the deadbolt, close the garage door and call the police. I step out of my side door (where he can't see me) so I can get a positive description and his direction to give to the dispatcher. Little did he know I was armed at the time. This could have turned really nasty for him. I don't normally open the door for just anybody, but we were expecting someone we know to come look at my wife's car, so I assumed it was her. One wrong step towards the inside of my home and instead of walking away under his own power he would have been wheeled off my property under a sheet. Just a reminder, be cautious who you allow to get your attention at the front door and don't let anybody convince you it's not okay to carry inside your own home. This man provided no introduction, no card, and had nothing with him. It wasn't until he was walking off did I see he had a black book in his back waistband. I'm going to assume he was from some church looking for donations or recruits, as most other door-to-door folk here are exterminators or children doing fundraisers, and all of them always have name tags, introduce themselves, and have more to shove in my face besides a hand. The religious promoters typically don't carry much, in my experiences. I'm also ordering a no soliciting sign that includes all possibilities. [/QUOTE]
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