I Think The Wife Is Trying To Do Me In😱

[Chaparral]

A couple of weeks ago she put these “mild” peppers in the spaghetti. Turns out they were a Thai Pepper, make habaneros seem on the mild side. Forgot to tell me, I took a bite and found another level of pain and inability to breathe! Drank half gallon of milk right away. Took a day for the pain to go away, the exit was bad too!

Then we are eating dinner and she says a great one liner right as I am starting to drink. Wrong pipe, coughing, all sorts of fun.

last night she stole my pillow and left me this lumpy mess of an old pillow. Had to find another pillow after I hit my head on the rock on my side of the bed.

Scared to see what is next! Maybe cancel life insurance? But hope y’all get some fun from my pain at any rate….

 

[RickN]

You are lucky, I get too ornery and my wife likes to kink off my O2.

 

[xseler]

Just go ahead and bite the bullet --- apologize...........for everything!!

 

[bigred1]

If i were you I sure wouldn't forget Valentine's Day.

 

[TerryMiller]

A couple of weeks ago she put these “mild” peppers in the spaghetti. Turns out they were a Thai Pepper, make habaneros seem on the mild side. Forgot to tell me, I took a bite and found another level of pain and inability to breathe! Drank half gallon of milk right away. Took a day for the pain to go away, the exit was bad too!

Then we are eating dinner and she says a great one liner right as I am starting to drink. Wrong pipe, coughing, all sorts of fun.

last night she stole my pillow and left me this lumpy mess of an old pillow. Had to find another pillow after I hit my head on the rock on my side of the bed.

Scared to see what is next! Maybe cancel life insurance? But hope y’all get some fun from my pain at any rate….

And.....

.....you've been married HOW LONG?

 

[TedKennedy]

You are lucky, I get too ornery and my wife likes to kink off my O2.

I've heard of lots of kinks, but not that one.

 

[swampratt]

Pay backs are a B.
Eat this: Boiled eggs.. Tuna fish, Broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts.
Big glass of milk or 2. And do not forget onions.
Toss a beer or 2 down the hatch on top of all that.

You will have the worst farts ever.
Feel free to share them with her.
And a last fart note if you fart in a cushioned chair and sit deep in it when farting then slowly get up it can suck in the farts.

Next person to sit in the chair will be rewarded with your thoughtful present.
Or do it to her pillow.

Not that hungry.
Take an ice cold soda in a can not opened to bed.
As she gets all comfy push it into the small of her back.

It's on then.

 

[2busy]

Pay backs are a B.
Eat this: Boiled eggs.. Tuna fish, Broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts.
Big glass of milk or 2. And do not forget onions.
Toss a beer or 2 down the hatch on top of all that.

You will have the worst farts ever.
Feel free to share them with her.
And a last fart note if you fart in a cushioned chair and sit deep in it when farting then slowly get up it can suck in the farts.

Next person to sit in the chair will be rewarded with your thoughtful present.
Or do it to her pillow.

Not that hungry.
Take an ice cold soda in a can not opened to bed.
As she gets all comfy push it into the small of her back.

It's on then.

Add in some garlic in case you sweat. Really brings out the experience.

 

[RickN]

Microwave Chili dogs and pickled eggs work good too.

 

[xseler]

Spend a week in the Colorado backcountry with only Ramen noodles and cheap beer..........you'll have to throw those tighty semi-whiteys away (not to mention your sleeping bag)!