1. Welcome to Oklahoma Shooters Association! Join today, registration is easy!

    You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.
  2. All members receive 3 free listings a month. Get unlimited listings for just $10 a year! Click here for all the info.

Jokes in really, REALLY bad taste ...

Discussion in 'Stupid Stuff' started by Annie, Sep 1, 2017.

  1. FRISKY

    FRISKY Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    82
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2014
    Location:
    OKC
    Rating
    100%
    The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered the door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

    "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife." said one trooper...
    "Tell me, please! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

    The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

    Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

    The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay..."

    "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "Well, what's the good news?"

    The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound King crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

    Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

    The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.."
     
  2. O4L

    O4L Moderator Staff Member

    Moderator Supporter
    Messages:
    10,033
    Likes Received:
    8,382
    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2012
    Location:
    Shawnee
    Rating
    100%
    For you trekkies...[​IMG]
     
  3. Catt57

    Catt57 Gill-Gun Guru

    Supporter
    Messages:
    4,005
    Likes Received:
    5,776
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2014
    Location:
    OKC
    Rating
    100%
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  4. adamsredlines

    adamsredlines Sharpshooter

    Supporter
    Messages:
    5,396
    Likes Received:
    6,751
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2016
    Location:
    Bixby
    Rating
    100%
    A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
    Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
    Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
    Hand Job: $10.00
    He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
    "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
    "Yes," she purrs. "I am."
    "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
     
  5. adamsredlines

    adamsredlines Sharpshooter

    Supporter
    Messages:
    5,396
    Likes Received:
    6,751
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2016
    Location:
    Bixby
    Rating
    100%
    Not bad taste but a funny for @Annie

    27752219_422104418246020_1499693869126477227_n.jpg
     
  6. Cohiba

    Cohiba Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    3,971
    Likes Received:
    839
    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Location:
    West Edmond/North OKC
    Rating
    100%
    [​IMG]




    [​IMG]




    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.

    Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

    She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."

    He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

    "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

    "Really," he said. "What myths are those?"

    "Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck."

    Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

    "It's Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"
     
    Jwryan84 and D. Hargrove like this.
  7. BlackRiflesBoy

    BlackRiflesBoy Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    184
    Likes Received:
    143
    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2017
    Location:
    Ok
    A Priest, a pedophile , and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
     
  8. Dave70968

    Dave70968 Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    6,678
    Likes Received:
    4,598
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Location:
    Norman
    Did you hear about the Russian novelist who committed suicide...by jumping off of his suicide note?
     
    Beau B likes this.
  9. RugersGR8

    RugersGR8 Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    19,655
    Likes Received:
    14,869
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2005
    Location:
    NW OK
    IMHO, I think that we can substitute Polaris or Gator for golf cart and deer hunting for golfing. :wink2: :rollingla



    Golfing

    While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart.

    A very beautiful and attractive golfer, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?"

    As I looked up I noticed she was wearing only a silky see-through bath robe which was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a VERY nice figure.

    "I'm okay, I think," I replied as I pulled myself out from under the twisted cart.

    She said, " please follow me to my villa so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head, then you can rest a while. I'll help you upright the cart later."

    "That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

    "Oh, come on now," she insisted. "We need to see if you have any more scrapes and treat them." Well, after all, she was really pretty, and very, very persuasive.

    Being sort of shaken and weak, I finally agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

    We walked to her place just a hundred yards away, and after a couple of scotch and waters and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."

    "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall even more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything, and by the way, where is she?"

    With a sigh, I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess."
     
  10. Dave70968

    Dave70968 Sharpshooter

    Messages:
    6,678
    Likes Received:
    4,598
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Location:
    Norman
    Someday, I'm going to invent a low-calorie communion wafer called I Can't Believe it's Not Jesus.
     
    Annie likes this.

Share This Page