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Jokes in really, REALLY bad taste ...

Annie

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Ok, time for my humble contribution.

A teenage girl walks up to her father, sitting in his easy chair.

"Hey dad, can I have 20 bucks" she asks.
"Sure" her father replies. He produces a crisp $20 bill from his wallet, lays it on his crotch and says, "you know what you gotta do for it" with a large grin.
"Aw, c'mon daddy...do I have to" she cries.
"Yup, you know the rules" dear ol' dad answers.
So, reluctantly, the young girl falls to her knees and pleasures her father.
Afterwards, the girl stands up, spits and makes a grimace. "Damn dad, that tasted just like ****."
The father leans back, puts his hands behind his head and says...

"Yeah, your brother wanted to borrow the car earlier."

:sorry1:

OMG, I'm DYING over here!!:clap3:
 

emapples

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Ok, time for my humble contribution.

A teenage girl walks up to her father, sitting in his easy chair.

"Hey dad, can I have 20 bucks" she asks.
"Sure" her father replies. He produces a crisp $20 bill from his wallet, lays it on his crotch and says, "you know what you gotta do for it" with a large grin.
"Aw, c'mon daddy...do I have to" she cries.
"Yup, you know the rules" dear ol' dad answers.
So, reluctantly, the young girl falls to her knees and pleasures her father.
Afterwards, the girl stands up, spits and makes a grimace. "Damn dad, that tasted just like ****."
The father leans back, puts his hands behind his head and says...

"Yeah, your brother wanted to borrow the car earlier."

:sorry1:
Ok you win .... the tasteless joke award (no pun intended)
 

tRidiot

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i.imgur.com_lXX0cHy.jpg
 

NikatKimber

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There's an old couple sitting in their rockers on the front porch. Just watching the day go by.

The elderly woman slowly gets out of her chair, hobbles over behind her husbands chair, and shoves it foward; launching the poor man off the porch and into the flower bed below. She then returns to her chair and resumes rocking.

The husband drags himself out of the flower bed, crawls up the steps of the porch, and eases himself into his rocker.

After a bit, he asks: "Honey, what on earth was that for??"

To which she replied, "That was for 50 years of bad sex."

"Huh"

They both continue rocking slowly, in silence.

Then the husband stands up, hobbles over behind his wife's chair, and does the same to his wife. After which he returns to his chair and resumes rocking.

The wife, picks herself up out of the flowerbed into which she'd been flung, works her way to the rocker, and sits back down in it.

After a few minutes of creaky rocking, the wife asks: "Dear, what was that for?!?"

His reply:

"Knowing the difference!"
 

Ignored Member

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I would post "the aristocratics", but that may be too filthy.
Oh, and I would make the family a preacher and his kids so I'm sure it'll get deleted cause I'd be talking bad about a preacher again.
 

JD8

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Doctor, Lawyer, and Priest and a bunch of children are on a boat traveling across the atlantic. The boat begins to take on water, upon which the doctor promptly stands up and says..... "Save the Children!!" ........ the lawyer immediately replies "Fawk the Children!!"....... The priest looks around with a confused look on his face..... and says "Do we have time?"
 

gerhard1

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Three blondes are walking on a beach and find a bottle. They open it and out pops this genie. He tells them that because the have freed him, he will grant each of them one wish.

The first blonde says "I want to be smart." *Pouf* The genie makes her a genius.

The second blonde's wish was to be a genius. *Pouf* She becomes another Eiinstein.

The third one says "I want to be really, really dumb." *Pouf* The genie turns her into a man.
 

n423

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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of peckers are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
 
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