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Mean Jokes

Discussion in 'Stupid Stuff' started by gerhard1, Mar 15, 2021.

  1. gerhard1

    gerhard1 Sharpshooter

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    What was the meanest joke you've ever pulled on someone?

    Mine was on a bratty cousin more than fifty years ago. I was a senior in high school and taking a course in the Russian language. In March, we had to go back to Kansas from Seattle due to my paternal grandmother's death and I took my Russian dictionary back with me so I could halfway keep up on, my Russian.

    After getting through her funeral we spent some time with my mom's side of the family and we were all gathered around in my uncle's house. My bratty cousin Glen saw my dictionary and wanted to know how to call his brother an SOB. He found the words in the English to Russian part and asked me how to pronounce them. I told him what to say and how to pronounce the Cyrillic characters, so he goes up to Tim, his brother, and in front of everyone there told him what I said to say. Tim looked at him with a 'what the hell' look on his face and Glen told him that he had just called him an SOB in Russian. I said, "No, Glen; you just called yourself one." Everyone there just busted out laughing.

    I know, mean; just rotten to the core.

    How's about anyone else?
     
  2. Sted-E Ed-E

    Sted-E Ed-E Sharpshooter

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    I used to work at a restaurant that had an employee bathroom at the end of a long hallway, that only the cooks used. The door had a good 2” gap at the bottom, and whenever you were sitting on the throne you’re feet were right in front of it. So one day I had the bright idea to pour a hot bucket of water at the bottom of the door when one of the cooks (he was an a-hole!) was taking a grunter. It got the entire side of his pants wet in the middle of a shift! Good times!!!
     
  3. okduckhntr

    okduckhntr Marksman

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    Working in a chemical plant, in East Texas back in the 90's. Had a Maintenance worker that notoriously always stopped 15-20 before lunchtime, to use a porta-potty out in the tank farm.
    This particular day, we happened to have a crane nearby. A few of us made the plans and like clockwork, at 11:40 Troy made his way to the crapper.

    We quickly cinched the door closed, rigged lift chokers and hoisted him and the porta-potty about 40' into the East Texas sky.

    We all left for lunch, then came back and let him down. He was pissed cause he missed lunch that day. We all got wrote up for "safety violations" but it was worth it. I don't remember him ever shutting down early for lunch again after that.
     
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  4. Snattlerake

    Snattlerake Sharpshooter

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    Dude puhleez! I had four years of college! Three of them in a dorm. I could write a book about what was done to me and what we did to others.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2021
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  5. chuter

    chuter Sharpshooter

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    We did something similar in a shop I used to work in, only we put bottle rockets under the door. Good ole days.
     
  6. Snattlerake

    Snattlerake Sharpshooter

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    Did you know a VW will just fit through the doors of Ament Hall? Did you know a can of Copenhagen will spread like flour inside a room when emptied into a manila envelope stuck under a door with a book dropped on it? I do, it took me a week to get most of it. Did you know Tiger Balm hurts like hell when it is poured on your man parts? I do. Sat in the shower and cried for a few hours. Did you know drunk monkeys cannot climb?
    I gotta check on the statute of limitations on the rest.
     
  7. golddigger14s

    golddigger14s Sharpshooter

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    We had all sorts of pranks we played in the Army. PVT, go get me a box of grid squares, PVT here is a piece of chalk and a hammer, go check the armored vehicle for soft spots, here is a trash bag go get me an exhaust sample, and many more.
     
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  8. surjimmy

    surjimmy Sharpshooter

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    We had a Cpl in the Corps, I hated him. I slipped into his room, unrolled his TP and sprinkled CS powder all over it. Then rolled it back up.
     
  9. gerhard1

    gerhard1 Sharpshooter

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    THAT was bad.
     
  10. Piedmont3

    Piedmont3 Sharpshooter

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    Our dorm room doors all opened into the dorm room.
    We had communal bathrooms, one for each hallway.
    We had 55 gallon metal oil barrels in the bathroom for trash cans.
    When you take the plastic bag out of the can and get 4 or 5 guys and move one of those cans, almost full of water, and lean it on someone's closed dorm room door. It is almost impossible to stop the can from falling over and drenching their carpet when they open the door. Not that I ever did that... But... I have seen it done...
     

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