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The Water Cooler
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My son dropped a bomb on me yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="tRidiot" data-source="post: 3409791" data-attributes="member: 9374"><p>I will pray for you and him both. This is a really tough situation to be in, for you, but even worse for him.</p><p></p><p>Alcoholics fight the urge to drink.</p><p>Sex addicts deal with urges to pursue meaningless hookups.</p><p>Gambling addict fight their demons as well.</p><p></p><p>We all have problems, but the hope and joy he can hold onto is the love, support, and encouragement of his family AND from God. Help him find positive activities in the church to be involved in. Embrace him with love and acceptance as a father. He NEEDS his father to be encouraging, not condemning. God will love him no matter what. We all fail, we all fall, we all stumble. The important thing is to make sure he knows he can come and talk to you without judgement. He needs your support and acceptance more than anything else in his physical life. DON'T let him ostracize himself from you or your family or church OR GOD because of SHAME.</p><p></p><p>I have seen children commit suicide over things like this... your son is struggling and it is a MASSIVE positive that he came to you to ask for your help and advice. You will struggle with you OWN acceptance of whatever he does, and you can tell him God tells us not to do certain things, but you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT let him think you don't accept him, don't love him or are passing judgement on him. He is at an incredibly difficult passage in his life and development. You have to give it up to God - you can't fix him. Let God deal with God's responsibilities, you need to be his father.</p><p></p><p>He needs you now more than ever.</p><p></p><p></p><p><edit> I just want you to know I am truly heartbroken for you and him both. I can't imagine the pain you are both going through, but I truly WILL pray for you both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tRidiot, post: 3409791, member: 9374"] I will pray for you and him both. This is a really tough situation to be in, for you, but even worse for him. Alcoholics fight the urge to drink. Sex addicts deal with urges to pursue meaningless hookups. Gambling addict fight their demons as well. We all have problems, but the hope and joy he can hold onto is the love, support, and encouragement of his family AND from God. Help him find positive activities in the church to be involved in. Embrace him with love and acceptance as a father. He NEEDS his father to be encouraging, not condemning. God will love him no matter what. We all fail, we all fall, we all stumble. The important thing is to make sure he knows he can come and talk to you without judgement. He needs your support and acceptance more than anything else in his physical life. DON'T let him ostracize himself from you or your family or church OR GOD because of SHAME. I have seen children commit suicide over things like this... your son is struggling and it is a MASSIVE positive that he came to you to ask for your help and advice. You will struggle with you OWN acceptance of whatever he does, and you can tell him God tells us not to do certain things, but you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT let him think you don't accept him, don't love him or are passing judgement on him. He is at an incredibly difficult passage in his life and development. You have to give it up to God - you can't fix him. Let God deal with God's responsibilities, you need to be his father. He needs you now more than ever. <edit> I just want you to know I am truly heartbroken for you and him both. I can't imagine the pain you are both going through, but I truly WILL pray for you both. [/QUOTE]
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