My Wife Thinks She's Slick!!!

[Cohiba]

Hey All....

Yep the title says it all. I'm 56 years old and all of a sudden my wife thinks I need to walk/step 10,000 steps a day!!! WTF!!!???

She got me to stop chewing tobacco...
She got me to slow waaaaaaay down on smoking cigars...
She got me to slow down on the quantity I drink of bourbon....

But I'll be D*MNED if I'm going to walk 10,000 steps a day or whenever I go for walks!!!

She even bought me a fancy pedometer and reads it after I finish walking.

***Well ol' Cohiba fixed her little red wagon!!!***

I have a next door neighbor who has a mutt/heinz 57, that LOVES to go for walks and a fun day at the park or Lake Hefner.

Solution: I take that -*&^% )(&$ -pedometer and borrow my neighbor's dog. I strap the pedometer to his tail and we walk with me praising and petting him...man he can wag that tail!!! Then I bought a ball and fresbee and he sure loves those toys.

Afterwards I give him a few treats and ...watch out...that tail is flying!!!

I just wonder how long it will take my wife to figure out how I'm getting those steps!!!

 

[O4L]

I saw that commercial too.

https://ispot.tv/a/Z0sW

 

[Cohiba]

Didn't see the commercial..... They copied off me!!! I've been doing this for a little over 2 weeks off and on and AGAIN....my wife must be slipping....she hasn't caught on...yet.

When I hear; HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! I know that she knows what I'm up to!!!

 

[rc508pir]

Here's to the Mrs remaining ignant LOL

 

[okierider]

Didn't see the commercial..... They copied off me!!! I've been doing this for a little over 2 weeks off and on and AGAIN....my wife must be slipping....she hasn't caught on...yet.

When I hear; HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! I know that she knows what I'm up to!!!

I hear ya ...but good on her ... and you cause apparently she thinks enough of you to want to keep ya healthy and alive longer!! Least she ain't out buying life insurance and looking for a murderer for hire................. right up until she catches you cheating the system!!

 

[surjimmy]

Wouldn't it be nice for a Woman to love for who you are when they met you, instead of what they can change you into. My Wife is the same way. She made me stop dipping snuff, stop drinking beer, stop hunting and fishing, stop going out with other women, sell my truck. I mean what the hell, she knew who I was when she met me. I showed her, I drew a hard and firm line on my chick flicks. I WILL NOT give up my Princess Diaries.

 

[Perplexed]

Hopefully that pedometer doesn’t have GPS built in, otherwise its track might look like this when overlaid on a map of the park trail...

 

[HFS]

Speaking of animals with a pedometer -

Over in England, a pig set fire to the pig pen after the porker swallowed the pedometer it was wearing and then pooped it out! Fire crews said apparently the battery or something mixed with urine and sparked the blaze in dry hay.

Here's the strange part: piggy was wearing the pedometer to prove it was a free range animal.

Pig sparks farm fire in England after eating, defecating battery-powered pedometer
https://www.foxnews.com/world/pig-fire-england-pedometer-excrement

 

[Aries]

Wouldn't it be nice for a Woman to love for who you are when they met you, instead of what they can change you into. My Wife is the same way. She made me stop dipping snuff, stop drinking beer, stop hunting and fishing, stop going out with other women, sell my truck. I mean what the hell, she knew who I was when she met me. I showed her, I drew a hard and firm line on my chick flicks. I WILL NOT give up my Princess Diaries.

They say a man chooses a woman to marry hoping she won't change, and a woman chooses a man to marry hoping he will.

 

[dennishoddy]

They say a man chooses a woman to marry hoping she won't change, and a woman chooses a man to marry hoping he will.

Truer words have never been spoken!!