Thanks. I know it will all take time and I am trying to let things progress how they will. Just posting things has helped a lot.
Thanks. I know it will all take time and I am trying to let things progress how they will. Just posting things has helped a lot.
I think I forgot to mention it but I guess Shauna's ex is coming down from Canada to pay his respects. I don't know why as the story is that when they were in Jamaica he hit Shauna. She stood up for herself and laid him out with a 2X4. The story also is told that he packed everything except for the baby stuff into a room and locked it all away. A hurricane came through a day or two after and the only room it destroyed was where all the stuff was locked up. If anyone does come out for the memorial and there is a guy being an ass do me a favor and drag him into across the street. If I have to do it....
The memorial is set for March 16th at 11:00 at Hayes Funeral Home in Guthrie. It's in downtown across from the grocery store on highway 33.
I went to a few places today and talked to some people that knew her and I to tell them what happened and talked about her a bit. Telling people about what was happening when different pictures were taken seems to help the most. I wish I had more of them but when she started using the power chair she didn't like them being taken. I have about 30 that are from a few different times where we were doing things with me all the time though and today while I was eating something I had them up and was looking through them. I have one where it was a couple days after getting Rascal and we had gone to a doctors appointment in Wichita Falls and on the way back he is asleep on her chest and she was out as well, I was driving and managed to take it without much trouble. She once told me that she never slept in moving vehicles and her daughter confirmed that. With me she slept all the time, she told me I was the first person who drove that she felt safe with. I was always so proud of that and it seemed like just a few minutes was all it ever took for her to start sawing logs on the highway.
The memorial is set for March 16th at 11:00 at Hayes Funeral Home in Guthrie. It's in downtown across from the grocery store on highway 33.
I went to a few places today and talked to some people that knew her and I to tell them what happened and talked about her a bit. Telling people about what was happening when different pictures were taken seems to help the most. I wish I had more of them but when she started using the power chair she didn't like them being taken. I have about 30 that are from a few different times where we were doing things with me all the time though and today while I was eating something I had them up and was looking through them. I have one where it was a couple days after getting Rascal and we had gone to a doctors appointment in Wichita Falls and on the way back he is asleep on her chest and she was out as well, I was driving and managed to take it without much trouble. She once told me that she never slept in moving vehicles and her daughter confirmed that. With me she slept all the time, she told me I was the first person who drove that she felt safe with. I was always so proud of that and it seemed like just a few minutes was all it ever took for her to start sawing logs on the highway.
Looking forward to your posts. Hang in there.
This was taken Sept 5th 2008. That was the day we first met in person. We had talked online a bit off and on over a few months before that point but things had been really quite until a week or two before we ended up meeting. She lived in Wichita Falls and I was in Lawton. I remember driving over to the Braums on Lee to meet her, she was driving her daughter's bright yellow VW Turbo beetle. I sent her there as it was probably easier to get to there than to try and get to where I was living by the mall in one of the tower apartments. To say that we met in a non traditional way would be an understatement. But we clicked and fell in love. On October 31st 2008 we were married and I don't regret any of it. She was my better half and I miss her very much, ten years wasn't enough for me.
Took this on October 5th 2008. We had been seeing each other for about a month at this point. Shaunamarie had never been to Mount Scott so we went for a drive. She climbed around on the rocks and we had a good time just goofing around. I think the shirt she was wearing we still have somewhere and I know I have the hat. Anyway a few weeks later we were married. We had been out to the same area multiple times over the years but her health slowly made things where climbing around wasn't feasible. This picture is one of the ones that cemented my love for her. That day was pure bliss.
I am doing a little bit better than I was today. Still need to drive down to Mount Scott and would love it to be a day similar to what the picture was. I didn't go yesterday like I had planned as a neighbor needed a ride to the VA to deal with some stuff. I did go look at a place that is rent to own about a 1/2 mile east of the VA. It's not the greatest area but the house is 1000sq feet and someone already gutted the inside so I can make everything right instead of trying to work with what is there already. Someone put a new service on the place at some point not long ago, looked like 200 or 225 amp. The drains are 100% wrong though coming through the sill area above the foundation. I just want to find a place where I can get started and be able top plant a tree for Shauna to watch over me. I thought about running to AZ and finding a place that is 40 acres but then I have to have a well among other things to get started.... I just feel so lost without her to center me so I am just looking at things and spoke with a friend and he is willing to sit down and help me get some things figured at some point. If I do end up with the house in OKC I know I will need some help with things here and there. Hopefully I can find a person or two who can lend me a hand.
I am doing a little bit better than I was today. Still need to drive down to Mount Scott and would love it to be a day similar to what the picture was. I didn't go yesterday like I had planned as a neighbor needed a ride to the VA to deal with some stuff. I did go look at a place that is rent to own about a 1/2 mile east of the VA. It's not the greatest area but the house is 1000sq feet and someone already gutted the inside so I can make everything right instead of trying to work with what is there already. Someone put a new service on the place at some point not long ago, looked like 200 or 225 amp. The drains are 100% wrong though coming through the sill area above the foundation. I just want to find a place where I can get started and be able top plant a tree for Shauna to watch over me. I thought about running to AZ and finding a place that is 40 acres but then I have to have a well among other things to get started.... I just feel so lost without her to center me so I am just looking at things and spoke with a friend and he is willing to sit down and help me get some things figured at some point. If I do end up with the house in OKC I know I will need some help with things here and there. Hopefully I can find a person or two who can lend me a hand.
I have always heard, don't make any major decisions or drastic life changes for at least a year after a loss like this.
BTW... I hope writing is cathartic for you. Just know I am reading your posts, and after each one I go give my wife a hug and tell her I love her. She thinks I finally went senile.
BTW... I hope writing is cathartic for you. Just know I am reading your posts, and after each one I go give my wife a hug and tell her I love her. She thinks I finally went senile.
I have always heard, don't make any major decisions or drastic life changes for at least a year after a loss like this.
BTW... I hope writing is cathartic for you. Just know I am reading your posts, and after each one I go give my wife a hug and tell her I love her. She thinks I finally went senile.
Thank you. I know I have to take time at least as much of it as I can afford to. There is a life insurance policy but I am at her daughter's whim in that point so who knows what I will be able to do.
Writing everything down and sharing has helped. Plus I do hope that others learn from my loss, from what you say you are. I do think however that love is a little crazy so we all have that in common. Feel free to sit her down and let her read through though, she may just give you a hug back.
And I need to send a big thank you to those people who have signed the guestbook for her. It means a lot to me that her memory lives on.
And I am scatter brained right now.... So many things going through my head. I made this up to print off and have at the memorial. Original size is 70 MB so I can't upload here as it's made to be printed at 18" x 24" it has a lot of the pictures I will post at some point or have posted. I just hope I did her justice.
I have been thinking about getting a small glass vial to put some of her ashes in to keep a piece of her with me and I went on Amazon and found this heart just a moment ago. I ordered 3 so that her mother and daughter could each have one... food be damned I will go hungry a few times so that we can each have it.
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