OK guys ...

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THAT Gurl

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I know all you guys are tough, independent fellas who never need to talk about your feelings ... BUT ...

Today I learned that a man I (and many other people on the planet -- actually, as far as I know every one who knew him felt like he was unshakeable) I respected and looked up to took his own life.

I'm not hear to debate the right or wrong of it all; only to say that if any of you yahoos EVER feel the need to just end it all PLEASE at least give me -- or someone -- a call. Talk to someone. Don't leave those who love you searching for answers to questions no one should have.

Take care fellas. And give those you love an extra hug tonight. Because you never know what burdens someone else carries.

And if any of you EVER needs someone to talk to, this is a standing offer to listen. Without judgment. Just listen and see what we can figure out together.
 

mouthpiece

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It's not easy to talk about, weather the one contemplating or the one trying to help.
I've had some very low points in my life but things always seem to work out no matter how bad things were.
I always think about that when things are bad or rough and I also think about how bad things use to be at low points in my life, and how good they are now and also how others are currently struggling with things much worse or far harder to deal with than my problems seemed to be.

if anyone needs to talk PLEASE MESSAGE ME.
I have talked to 2 forum members before when going through tough spots in life, it will stay confidential.
peace be with you all. Tim
 

Okie4570

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Sorry to hear. I've also visited with a couple of OSAers over the years that were going through troubled times, not sure if was the same ones mentioned above or not, but folks please reach out if needed.

A man that I grew up with, worked with my dad, him and his sons hunted with my dad and I took his own life years ago at 72yo. Career FF and home builder. Grounded as can be in his faith and common sense, and as involved with family and grandkids as much as anyone could ever hope for, happily retired. He had a very short bought with depression out of the blue, tried a couple of different meds and his family thought things were turning around but I guess they weren't.
 

John6185

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Sometimes people put on an act that all is well with them and inside they are tormented by some event or something else and they see no other way of getting rid of their problem. People who are unhappy and sad-remorseful and then they tend to brighten up because they've found the solution to their problems-but it isn't the solution, there are many people left behind that are hurt. Those that rebound are the ones to watch according to medical authorities.
 

Glock 'em down

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Suicide is something that hits very close to home for me. In June 2018, my mother took her own life. But she didn't do it quickly, no instead she suffered and made us all watch.

Dad was losing a 3 year battle with cancer. She knew the end was near for him, and she couldn't imagine life without him. Strangely enough, around the first part of June, after Hospice was called in for dad, my mother contracted a nasty urinary tract infection. Instead of going to the dr. to get it treated, she had a DNR in place without any of us knowing about it.

Well, as you can guess, the UTI turned septic and started poisoning her body. She also refused to eat or even speak to any of us. We all literally watched her suffer and die a selfish death right before our eyes. Tragically, dad followed exactly 10 days later.

They truly had the story book marriage. She was raised by her verbally and physically abusive grandmother and he was fresh out of the navy. He rescued her from the horrific environment she was living in, and made her his wife at the tender age of only 17 (he was 25). They spent 58 incredible years together, teaching me and my two brothers how to be successful men.

I miss them both every single day, but I'm still pissed at my mother for her selfish act. I have forgiven her, because my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ says I have to, but I'm still angry. Hopefully someday I can get over it.
 

JD8

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My Aunt was Bi-polar and I watched my mother go over and talk her down off the ledge so to speak all through my childhood. Several people would say she just wanted attention, well, she proved them wrong one day when I was 20, and I had to go find my cousin and tell him, his mother was dead. Just 9 months before that I had to go find him and tell him his brother was dead from a drunk driving accident. Which probably spiraled my aunt over the edge. Good times.

Depression is a sickness and people need to understand that, there is no "reasoning" and bless those that will help them by listening. Understanding that you probably aren't going to fix things in the normal sense but you can hopefully save someone who's in that low spot.
 

Catt57

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Some brutal honesty here. And all from my own personal experience.

I have seen the bottom of that abyss. It was many years ago. Before I found this forum and the friends I've made here. I remember MANY TIMES driving down the highway wondering if I could escape with just one quick jerk of the steering wheel at 75 mph. Thankfully something inside of me never let me find out. Now I have 3 children that keep me grounded and thoughts like that no longer cross my mind.

Even at the time I knew there were people that cared about me. I just wasn't caring enough about myself to reach out to them. Sadly that is what depression does. It isolates you. In your own mind it no longer matters that anyone else cares, because you no longer care enough to help yourself. You avoid or even push away any attempts at help. You "know" there is no getting out of it and it will never get better. Even if you keep telling yourself it will get better, even if you try to believe this, the depression keeps you convinced otherwise. Everyone saying "It gets better" just makes it worse. Comforting words turn into daggers. All I wanted was understanding and acknowledgement of the pain I was in. Just for someone to say "Your life sucks, how can I genuinely help you to turn it around?"

It wasn't until I truly decided I wasn't going to let it win, and put every ounce of effort I had left into fighting it, that things began to change. That is the point at which someone will probably reach out to talk. Understand that at that point, it is literally taking everything they have just to talk. They are going to be fighting a fear you cannot comprehend. They will be at their most vulnerable. And most likely, they aren't looking for answers, not just yet. They are looking for strength, comfort, and an acknowledgement that they are going through Hell but it is worth the fight to escape.
 

THAT Gurl

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I've been there, too, guys. My issues were caused by a drug interaction (blood pressure meds and migraine meds) but it was still horrid. I was absolutely convinced that my work here was finished and I was ready to move on. I BEGGED Grumpy to help me. You old old-timers will remember. You know what FINALLY convinced me I was wrong?? The 40 or 50 (I am NOT exaggerating) potted plants that showed up at my hospital room. Every single one of them said "Get well soon. We miss you. The guys at OSA." You guys gave me the support I needed to take a deep breath and stand up for myself and figure out what I needed to do to get better, not just lay down and give in, no matter how tempting it was.

I don't know why this gentleman did what he did though, like many of you, I am familiar with the darkest parts of the human state. And unfortunately, like you guys, I don't have any answers. But I do have an empathetic ear. And I will listen for as long as it takes for anyone to decide to wait until another day. And if that day comes, then we will do it all again until we can find the light. It's that simple. And that hard. But I promise you, if anyone confides in me (and plenty of you guys have over the years) we will get it worked out.
 

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