Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton

[Glock 40]

Saw a shirt about this. Lots of good ones on the net.

1. Ebola.
2. The IRS.
3. A 1989 Yugo.
4. Mainstream Media.
5. A Styrofoam Gas Can.
6. Nuclear Hand Grenades.
7. Obama’s Birth Certificate.
8. Convenience Store Sushi.
9. A Condom Made in China.
10. Flint Michigan Tap Water.
11. A Nightcap With Bill Cosby.
12. Kool Aid at a Jim Jones Party.
13. A Ferengi Used Car Salesman.
14. Emails From a Nigerian Prince.
15. A Test Fart in Bed With Diarrhea.
16. A Rattlesnake With a Pet Me Sign.
17. Steve Harvey Announcing Miss Universe.
18. A Blind Date With a Woman Named Caitlyn.
19. OJ Simpson Showing Me His Knife Collection.
20. A Government agent saying “I’m here to help you.”
21. The Guy Who Installs Turn Signals at the BMW Plant.
22. Playing Russian Roulette With a Semi-Automatic Pistol.
23. A Palestinian in Israel with a Backpack on a Motorcycle.
24. A Small Unidentifiable Speed Boat Coming Toward Me Off the Coast of Somalia.
25. A blood transfusion from Charlie Sheen.
26. An elevator ride with Ray Rice

please feel free to add to the list.

 

[Cowcatcher]

An XD after it's thrown from a moving vehicle.

A box of old ammo with green stuff growing on the bullets.

A tire that's more wire than tire.

A saddle that pops every time your horse takes a step.

Bare welding leads.

A skilsaw with no guard on it.

A bull that just wiped the other guy out.

 

[O4L]

Me ex-wife with my credit card.

 

[TerryMiller]

Just about ANYTHING...

 

[davek]

Those "Windows Technical Support" people that call to help me with my computer security.

 

[John6185]

A medical student that wants to do a finger wave.

 

[Timmy59]

A snake..

Late one evening, while the campaign motorcade
proceeded down a lonely rural road in west Texas, a
very aged cow that had wandered away from its
farm pasture, suddenly
stepped onto the road directly in
the path of the oncoming vehicles.
The Secret Service limo driver tried to avoid the aging bovine,
but just couldn't stop the car in time.
Unfortunately, the old cow was struck and killed.
From the back seat of the limo, Hillary Clinton
demanded that her driver
to go up to the nearby farmhouse and
explain to the owners what had
happened.
She insisted, however, that the agent
should resist any request from
the farmer to pay for the animal, and
she added, "You killed it, so if they demand
money, it will come out of your own pocket!"

Meanwhile, Hillary stayed in the car making phone calls on
her unsecured cell phone.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his
clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of
expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban
cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife
gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made
passionate love to me.

"I had just stepped inside the door
and said, ‘I'm Hillary Clinton's driver,
and I've just killed the old cow.’"
"The rest happened so fast, I
couldn't stop it!"

 

[druryj]

 

[RKM]

A leper proctologist.