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<blockquote data-quote="Mr.Glock" data-source="post: 4021716" data-attributes="member: 32877"><p>1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.</p><p>2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.</p><p>3 - Half the people you know are below average.</p><p>4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.</p><p>5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.</p><p>6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.</p><p>7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.</p><p>8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.</p><p>9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.</p><p>10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.</p><p>11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.</p><p>12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?</p><p>13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?</p><p>14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.</p><p>15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.</p><p>16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.</p><p>17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.</p><p>18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.</p><p>19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.</p><p>20 - If Barbie is so popu, why do you have to buy her friends?</p><p>21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.</p><p>22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?</p><p>23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."</p><p>24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name</p><p>25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.</p><p>26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.</p><p>27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.</p><p>28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.</p><p>29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.</p><p>30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.</p><p>31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.</p><p>32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.</p><p>33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.</p><p>34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.</p><p>35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mr.Glock, post: 4021716, member: 32877"] 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popu, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work [/QUOTE]
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