Funny things said around your house

[Rumur]

Not really in the house but...
We were travelling to Springfield and my 6 year old son (at the time, he's 20 now) is in the back seat and says in his little sing song voice, "The chicken or the egg, the chicken or the egg...which came first the chicken or the egg? I don't know about you guys but I think the Rooster came first." I almost wrecked the car.

 

[Rumur]

Told my wife when we got married 26 years ago that I would keep her until she turned 40, then trade her for 2 20 year olds. Her response...
"You better watch it buster...you aren't wired for 220". Snap!

 

[dan45]

From my 11 year old son " Due to rising energy costs and a weak economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

 

[MyMonkey]

Oh man! I have a few.

The wife is trying on jeans one day and exclaims: "Too bad my but is so flat!" At which point my 7 year old chimes in with: "Flat? It's like two fresh apples back there!" I fell over.

The first time my 5 year old saw my carry weapon right after we came home from the grocery store while I was using the bathroom he exclaims: "MMMMm.... You took a gun to the grocery store! I'm telling mom!" LMAO

The other day my now 8 year old says: "Dad, what's a Vagitis?" I say, what? "Well, my friend told this girl at school to stick it in her vagitis but I don't know what that is." My retort: "Ask your mother."

One of the best ever. Maybe odd sounding but comes from a place of innocence. My son asked last year: "Dad, do you have to be brown to play pro basketball?" (Yes, he uses brown rather than the alternative) I Flipped through the channels until I saw a game with a few white players on the court and showed him. "Of course not, see"

More to come.

 

[LightningCrash]

for you Avatar fans:
I waved my hand at the dog when my wife said "Are you trying to airbend over there?"
"No, but get some Taco Bell in me and I can make that happen."

 

[crazyfish]

My 7yo daughter in the car the other day. "daddy I need to go potty". Me "can you hold it for just a minute and I'll find somewhere to go". Her "WAIT!!! False alarm! I just had to toot!"

 

[mightymouse]

A friend of mine got re-married to a wonderful woman with two small kids after a disastrous first marriage . When his step-daughter had grown up and was ready to marry, she asked, "Daddy (she always called her step-dad "daddy"), do I have your permission to marry?" His reply: "Sure, sweetie, it's something you'll only do twice in your life."

 

[marvin]

One of my boys was standing in the swimming pool when my other son shoots him with a water gun and he starts crying "you got me all wet!"

 

[Super Dave]

When my 9 year old was 5, he'd get up CRAZY early. We'd make him go back to bed. Once (we had already sent him back to bed a few hours before) we heard him in the hall, and called out, "Terran!!! Go back to bed!" He replied, "Ok. Sorry Mom, sorry Dad." Then he ran in to a box in the hall, and said, "Sorry box." We giggled for quite a while.

To this day, if one of us runs in to something, we often still say, "Sorry box."

 

[justanotherpatriot]

One day my 4 yr old was wearing a slightly loose tank top and it was hanging a bit low. My 8 yr old son says "you better pull it up, I can see your boobies." She looks down and says "not boobies, its my nickles"