In my defense, I honestly did not know a damned thing about brewing coffee when I entered the Army. My parents only drank a couple of cups a year(!) and theirs was always "freeze-dried." When I was 5 years old, I tasted coffee (ONCE!!) at my grandmother's house, and in the following 67 years I have never ever ever touched another drop. I take my caffeine cold - iced tea or diet Dr Pepper only, thank you very much.
As a trainee in 1968, I too was tapped to prepare the office coffee pot. Tried my damnedest to talk my way out of it, but the Sergeant with a bunch of stripes on his sleeve was adamant. At least you received instructions, Terry. I was just told, "Do it, dammit." I didn't know to clean the pot first... hell, it had coffee in it, so wasn't that the point? I did not know to start with cold water... it was supposed to be hot, so I started with hot water (I was a naive 17-year old kid, and that sounded logical at the time). I had no concept of measuring, much less 'how much,' so I just packed the top bin full. I turned it on full blast and left.
I pushed Fort Polk away for hours.
Yep. Now fast forward all the way from the '60's to the late '90's. I had been working a job where I was on a phone all day and developed Upper Respiratory Infection and Bronchitis both at the same time. After I went back to work after the antibiotic regimen, I lost my voice in about an hour and a half. Short story is that after 6 months of seeing doctors and finally a speech therapist, I got my voice back, but the therapist said that I might very well have the same problem again within a year.
So, I left that job and ended up a few months later at the OSBI with very little need for a phone. However, the wife also worked there in the IT division and insisted on being at work at 7:00 am. (Prior to that for a number of years, my work day started at 9:00 am or later.) Thus, beginning in the Spring of 1999, I started taking up coffee. I've been there ever since, in spite of never drinking coffee before.