Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says."Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?''We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.''Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said.'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'.'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also'The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!''Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.*Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!'Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers!!!!
Lolz!
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"You're fixin' to get lit up, Steve."
I love it!
I love it!
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