My advice is this:
EITHER
Put everything in her name and yours, it only takes a few minutes at the tag office/bank. That's the cheapest way. Then you both use the items from time to time, and remind her that "this is yours too. Here's a fireproof safe ($50.00) for you to keep the title in." Then you make her use the items from time to time. Spend the night on a weekend (claim to the house, familiarity for her peace of mind), swap vehicles with her (claim to car), let her charge things to your bank account (shared account), and whatever else.
In a contested situation your (assumed) spouse may say "That was our account/car/house, she never even used it!" and everything gets contested if things get hairy.
OR
Pay $1500 bucks and get it done by an estate attorney. Do everything he says to do and never, ever deviate from that.
Then, sit down with your attorney(if a trust) and heir. Make out a very detailed list of things she needs to do once you pass. This will possibly require her kicking people out of your house via eviction. It's not for a kind soul.
This list of "I'm dead, here's whatcha gotta do" things should be filed with the trust.
Even with no trust you MUST MAKE THIS LIST.
For a reference, here's some bits of my own "to-do" list for my wife or trustee:
Step 1: Get a copy of my death certificate. In fact, get at least 10 copies because you may need them. And DON'T SIGN ANY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FORMS FOR ANYTHING. Nurses and care professionals will have you sign Patient Responsibility forms that include "I am the responsible party" lines to get you to pay for my bills. Just fill in my name and sign my name. If they balk, just tell them you're not responsible for me, we haven't spoken in years. That hospital bill could be hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Step 2: My computer and phone password is (password). My email program is in (d:\path\to\program), my preferred web browser (d:\webbrowser) that holds some passwords, along with some documents and other important things (d:\path\to\docs). My password manager is in (d:/passswords)
Using that information, Log in to my accounts (Brokerage, Banks Credit Unions, etc. Look in the password manager under Banking) and liquidate everything except IRA or 403b or 401k accounts. You can't sell retirement accounts without having a tax penalty. If this is Heir #1, you can inherit all that stuff so leave it alone for now until you contact them about my death. It will take up to two years for them to agree to move things to you. If you need help, it'll cost $400 bucks per hour, but call our attorney at ATTORNEYNUMBER and they'll talk you though everything. RECORD THIS CONVERSATION because things go fast and you'll forget things. Watch the clock too or it'll quickly get to $800 (2 hours). Make a big list of questions and ask them all at once. There will probably be taxes to pay on some of it. Do whatever's necessary to avoid this. Trust the lawyers even if it gets complicated.
Step 3: Call the insurance company and claim my life insurance.
Step 4: Now call the Social Security office and see what you need to do to claim any SS benefits. Anything you have coming to you is worth claiming.
Step 5: When you get the insurance money, PAY OFF ANY HOUSE I MIGHT OWE ON. Stability is of the utmost importance, especially for the grandkids' psyche. We don't really have any debt so nothing to worry about there.
Step 6: There are a ton of raising-kids-related advice I tried to give them in my to-do folder in C:\kids\Todo\todo.txt
And that's about it. You'll have plenty $$$ leftover from paying the house off so you should be able to make the bills even if things go badly for you and the kids in the future. It should be a decent nest egg if nothing happens.
TRUST REQUIREMENTS AND DIRECTIONS
IF YOU LIQUIDATE OUR THINGS AND DEPOSIT THE FUNDS IN A BANK, THE BANK ONLY COVERS $250,000 IN FUNDS FOR EACH SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. If you have more than 250k TO DEPOSIT, you need to make sure you open accounts at different banks to have it covered. You only get 250k in coverage (banks fail over a weekend!) per bank, per social (or per EIN - business version of social). If you have more than that, you can lose it!
You can have 500k at a bank and have it covered if 250k is yours under your social, and 250k is in your business account under an EIN. Make multiple businesses if necessary. It takes about a week and it's cheap.
Wealth is like a car. The first generation builds it, the second generation drives it, the third wrecks it. Make your kids start on the bottom of the business and work their way through it before they get control and ruin it.
That's my 2 cents. Sorry for the wall of text. Pull out what you need make those lists, and try to make it as easy on your heirs as possible. Most people have no idea what to do with your junk when you die. Talk about it openly, early, and often.
EITHER
Put everything in her name and yours, it only takes a few minutes at the tag office/bank. That's the cheapest way. Then you both use the items from time to time, and remind her that "this is yours too. Here's a fireproof safe ($50.00) for you to keep the title in." Then you make her use the items from time to time. Spend the night on a weekend (claim to the house, familiarity for her peace of mind), swap vehicles with her (claim to car), let her charge things to your bank account (shared account), and whatever else.
In a contested situation your (assumed) spouse may say "That was our account/car/house, she never even used it!" and everything gets contested if things get hairy.
OR
Pay $1500 bucks and get it done by an estate attorney. Do everything he says to do and never, ever deviate from that.
Then, sit down with your attorney(if a trust) and heir. Make out a very detailed list of things she needs to do once you pass. This will possibly require her kicking people out of your house via eviction. It's not for a kind soul.
This list of "I'm dead, here's whatcha gotta do" things should be filed with the trust.
Even with no trust you MUST MAKE THIS LIST.
For a reference, here's some bits of my own "to-do" list for my wife or trustee:
Step 1: Get a copy of my death certificate. In fact, get at least 10 copies because you may need them. And DON'T SIGN ANY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FORMS FOR ANYTHING. Nurses and care professionals will have you sign Patient Responsibility forms that include "I am the responsible party" lines to get you to pay for my bills. Just fill in my name and sign my name. If they balk, just tell them you're not responsible for me, we haven't spoken in years. That hospital bill could be hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Step 2: My computer and phone password is (password). My email program is in (d:\path\to\program), my preferred web browser (d:\webbrowser) that holds some passwords, along with some documents and other important things (d:\path\to\docs). My password manager is in (d:/passswords)
Using that information, Log in to my accounts (Brokerage, Banks Credit Unions, etc. Look in the password manager under Banking) and liquidate everything except IRA or 403b or 401k accounts. You can't sell retirement accounts without having a tax penalty. If this is Heir #1, you can inherit all that stuff so leave it alone for now until you contact them about my death. It will take up to two years for them to agree to move things to you. If you need help, it'll cost $400 bucks per hour, but call our attorney at ATTORNEYNUMBER and they'll talk you though everything. RECORD THIS CONVERSATION because things go fast and you'll forget things. Watch the clock too or it'll quickly get to $800 (2 hours). Make a big list of questions and ask them all at once. There will probably be taxes to pay on some of it. Do whatever's necessary to avoid this. Trust the lawyers even if it gets complicated.
Step 3: Call the insurance company and claim my life insurance.
Step 4: Now call the Social Security office and see what you need to do to claim any SS benefits. Anything you have coming to you is worth claiming.
Step 5: When you get the insurance money, PAY OFF ANY HOUSE I MIGHT OWE ON. Stability is of the utmost importance, especially for the grandkids' psyche. We don't really have any debt so nothing to worry about there.
Step 6: There are a ton of raising-kids-related advice I tried to give them in my to-do folder in C:\kids\Todo\todo.txt
And that's about it. You'll have plenty $$$ leftover from paying the house off so you should be able to make the bills even if things go badly for you and the kids in the future. It should be a decent nest egg if nothing happens.
TRUST REQUIREMENTS AND DIRECTIONS
- If one of us dies, the other has control of the trust etc. The trust can carry on as it was before, you don't need to change anything. Just follow the dead person's will and everything else stays the same. The will and trust go together hand in hand.
- If both of us die, EXECUTOR #1 will become the Executor, meaning it's her job to catalog everything, bring everyone together and read the wills, plan the funerals or scattering ceremonies, and generally do party planning after our death.
TRUSTEE #1 is the Trustee, which is the person that handles all the titled items like the houses, cars, bank accounts, brokerage accounts, businesses, and so on. Executors don't have to be Trustees, but it's common that they are if you have someone you trust that handles money well and everyone loves. - If me, wife, and Trustees all die, the other kids have to vote on a new person to handle the trust and it MUST BE AN ATTORNEY OR ACCOUNTANT, or a corporate trustee. It can't just be a regular person. If they can't agree on someone, they have to petition a judge to appoint a trustee to handle it. That's not the route you want to go.
- If one or both of us is disabled or incapacitated, Trustee #1 can get TWO physicians to sign off on it and start distributing our Trust to take care of us.
- When we die, our life insurance policies are paid to the Trust. You'll have to call them to cash them in. It's NOT automatic. Do this immediately. Insurance companies make a TON of money by people forgetting or not knowing where to cash in policies.
- If we're close to an election for president, it's best to wait until we have a Republican president before settling our estate if you can. No requirements are set on when it must be settled, the trust just carries on. Some people will tell you two years and it all has to be settled. That's not the case. Any questions just make a big fat list and save up $400 then call our attorney.
Bonuses: - If anyone graduates from a four year college, they get $50,000 from the trust funds.
- If anyone wants to buy their first house after age 23, they get $100,000
- If anyone is hooked on drugs, gambling, or alcohol, they get nothing until their addiction is under control to the satisfaction of Trustee #1, or a trustee appointed by the court if they can't do it.
- Trustee #1 has to send out a list of bills and income (interest, etc) to all beneficiaries at least every 6 months. Just a simple statement is enough. You may not have to do this if you settle the trust quickly.
- The trustee, or anyone appointed by the court, may get paid whatever is reasonable for a trustee to be paid at the time they do the work. This money comes from the trust.
IF YOU LIQUIDATE OUR THINGS AND DEPOSIT THE FUNDS IN A BANK, THE BANK ONLY COVERS $250,000 IN FUNDS FOR EACH SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. If you have more than 250k TO DEPOSIT, you need to make sure you open accounts at different banks to have it covered. You only get 250k in coverage (banks fail over a weekend!) per bank, per social (or per EIN - business version of social). If you have more than that, you can lose it!
You can have 500k at a bank and have it covered if 250k is yours under your social, and 250k is in your business account under an EIN. Make multiple businesses if necessary. It takes about a week and it's cheap.
Wealth is like a car. The first generation builds it, the second generation drives it, the third wrecks it. Make your kids start on the bottom of the business and work their way through it before they get control and ruin it.
That's my 2 cents. Sorry for the wall of text. Pull out what you need make those lists, and try to make it as easy on your heirs as possible. Most people have no idea what to do with your junk when you die. Talk about it openly, early, and often.