Cutting out negativity in the form of friends and family

[cjjtulsa]

Example I needed to put in a new fence post in my suburban yard, one post hole to dig, mix some quikcrete, set the pole, drink some beers. I could not get any of my adult kids to help, not even for some pocket money. Health problems prevents me from doing it myself.

Sorry, man - that sucks. I've driven 5 hours to help my aging father with some stuff he couldn't take care of; I hope my kids would do the same for me some day. As for facebook, I've got only a handful of friends on there, but have used it mostly just to chat with a few friends and a brother out of state at times. Told my wife several times I'd like to just kill the account altogether, as the bulk of it just seems to be narcissistic a**holes trolling for compliments by posting "selfies", or idiots trolling for attention by posting "well, that sucks" kinds of comments, with no explanation. It's like a support group for the lonely and needy.

I get along well with most of my family, and my inlaws are great - but they are divorced, and the god-forsaken debris that came with those that they remarried I could (and would like to) live without. And I know my avoiding them at all costs makes me seem aloof, and I really don't care.

 

[AbundantEntropy]

Hell I've cut my mom and dad out. Mom causes trouble with the wife and I. Father well... Don't get me started. I got rid of Facebook 2 years ago. In reality I only talk to people at work at work. I've got 3 friends and 1 brother out of state I keep in contact with. In town just my neighbors and 1 local brother I talk to. Life is much easier this way. It irks me so bad when people say ill regret it later in life, how can I regret ridding my life of poison?

 

[HMCS(FMF)Ret.]

I hate drama. I joined the Navy at 18. I feel like I raised myself. Have parents, but only talk to them enough to let them know I'm still alive. They hate my wife, and she can't stand them. Most of her hatred stems from my stories of growing up. Have a younger brother that I really don't know, an older sister I talk to every year to wish her a Happy Birthday, and a twin brother that I talk to all the time (we have a very tight bond). I don't do the friends thing. I really like the folks that I work with, but I learned in the military to seperate work from my home life. I have no close friends other than my wife and my grown kids (and I like it that way). I retired here in Oklahoma and love it. No family anywhere close...even though sometimes I wish I lived closer to my brother.

 

[yukonjack]

I don't mind a little drama. What would life be like without it? I tell what it would be like. We'd all sit around in a little circle naked with those fake shiteatin' grins singin' kumbaya. That's all we'd do. That's it. We wouldn't need guns or money or cute women with big butts. We'd just sing and eat figs and drink wine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo9AH4vG2wA

 

[dennishoddy]

As for facebook, I've got only a handful of friends on there, but have used it mostly just to chat with a few friends and a brother out of state at times. Told my wife several times I'd like to just kill the account altogether, as the bulk of it just seems to be narcissistic a**holes trolling for compliments by posting "selfies", or idiots trolling for attention by posting "well, that sucks" kinds of comments, with no explanation. It's like a support group for the lonely and needy.

facebook sucks so bad I can't describe it in adequate language for the very reason you said, and more.

 

[BadgeBunny]

Hell I've cut my mom and dad out. Mom causes trouble with the wife and I. Father well... Don't get me started. I got rid of Facebook 2 years ago. In reality I only talk to people at work at work. I've got 3 friends and 1 brother out of state I keep in contact with. In town just my neighbors and 1 local brother I talk to. Life is much easier this way. It irks me so bad when people say ill regret it later in life, how can I regret ridding my life of poison?

And yet that will never stop. You should see the look on some people's faces when they hear I've not seen or spoken to any of my family in almost 20 years. They look at GC like he can shed some kind of sane light on an insane situation and he just smiles and says "Hey, I've only seen them all once and that was enough for a lifetime."

You will learn to just smile and tell those folks that you are grateful they've obviously never experienced the level of family drama you have -- otherwise they would be glad you got out in one piece -- with your sanity.

 

[NightShade]

In the same club. Only person I speak to in my family is my father and he was not around while I grew up anyway. My mother is a crazy druggy drunk incestuous psychopath and the rest of my family from her side isn't far behind.

My life improved by leaps and bounds when my family was out of the picture.

Sent from the bed of a pickup rolling down a bumpy road at 90 MPH.

 

[SoonerP226]

You will learn to just smile and tell those folks that you are grateful they've obviously never experienced the level of family drama you have -- otherwise they would be glad you got out in one piece -- with your sanity.

Well, I am thankful that I've never experienced that type of family drama; I've never had to consider a family member as expendable, not even my aunt the Hillary delegate in Austin (I enjoy talking to her, we just don't talk politics). If I'd had any real connection with my late uncle's step-children, that might be a different story, but they're way the hell up in Godforsaken Yankeeland, so that's not an issue.

Having dealt with dysfunctional people who were not relations, though, I can tell you that you're the only person you can control. If the drama is too much and they won't change, you just have to do what you have to do.

 

[BadgeBunny]

Having dealt with dysfunctional people who were not relations, though, I can tell you that you're the only person you can control. If the drama is too much and they won't change, you just have to do what you have to do.

THAT RIGHT THERE is the God's honest truth of the matter. It's not easy but sometimes it is the only way to save yourself ... and your children.

 

[TedKennedy]

RH - they say blood is thicker than water, but from what I've seen, (situations like yours) it's not always so. Cut'em loose, be loyal and true to the ones you love, and uphold any promises you made to them. Beyond that, where's the obligation? My .02.