Got a lot going on, could use some life advice?

Parks 788

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We just sold our house and have a ton of money sitting in an investment account currently. Making next to nothing. Our finacial advisor has been trying to get us to meet for a couple weeks to put it somewhere to make a little money on it but keep it liquid so we can pull the trigger on property when we get to OK. Probably jsut put it in some Treasurys for now. Need to get with him to make the right choice.

Personally if it were me and I've been married once already, I'd wait. If she has an issues with waiting for 5 or so years then, Bye. I'd make sure as hell I got my financial objectives in full order and well on my way to my goals before i decided to chance marriage a second time. Not sure of your age but if you are anywhere north of 40, then wait.

On your house. I'd rent it out as said above. You seem to be fairly handy so you can manage the property and repairs yourself, it seems. I would rent a small 2BD/2BTH for cheap and take the money you make off the rental and buy another rental income property and then rent that out. Parlay the money into a third home. So on and so on. Guys that do this and do it the right way seem to make a great living. Nothing wrong with assuming some debt if that debt is going to be offset with more income. Buy the crappiest hosue on the block, do some cosmetic renovations and put renters in it. If you could get your hands on another one or two houses to rent out in the next couple months you could get top rental dollar for them. 3 bedroom 2 bath homes is what I'd aim for.
 

cowzrul

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I might duplicate a few things that have been said. I'm going to drop some opinions here to muddy the water but ultimately your going to have to make the decisions.

1) One thing I learned early on was how to compartmentalize. It gave me the ability to go from Pvt to Major in the Marine Corps. I think you need to mentally create a few buckets and not mingle your plans. Career, Marriage, Housing & Mom are all separate. Sure a career/income drives your housing but you can still look at the housing factors independently.

2) I have worked two or three jobs up until I open my business. Yes, even in the Corps I worked side jobs. By your own admission you have no income stream. I assume your living off savings or the money you're getting from VA. Either way I would be working when I wasn't in school. Not a popular opinion in the "Great Resignation Era" I know but the extra cash you can set aside will help when you need it.

3) Housing market. I'm no expert but I just sold last month and bought a house half the size while we build. We have decided to sit on the sidelines for a bit and keep all our cash (a substantial amount) in our checking account until we decide to make a move. All the research I have done points to lumber prices coming down (lumber futures have dropped by half) and housing market becoming unstable. Just like the car market, the housing market cannot sustain this type of volatility. My guess is 3, 6 or even 12 months from housing will stabilize and it might not be good. Point being if there was ever a good time to get out of a house it was yesterday. I would sell your house as is if you have no doubts you want to sell.

4) Marriage and money. I met on a blind date and 6 weeks later got married. No she wasn't pregnant. That was over 35 years ago. Back then we had one Navy Fed checking account and most the time the balance was $5. Currently we have two Navy Fed accounts and are joint on both. She uses one account and I use the other. Trust and transparency are key. We also have other bank accounts but are joint on this as well.

5) I didn't touch on career because I have the mind set that grit, drive and discernment are all that is needed to get ahead. Notice I didn't say get rich.

6) I saved the hard one for last. Family problems (mom in your case). I was executor for Aunts estate in OK about 4 years ago. Was assigned executor as my moms estate in Texas shortly after. I declined and let my sister handle moms affairs. Why? Oklahoma is a very easy state for probate. Texas wasn't. Of course this is my opinion. Either way I would make an appointment with said lawyer for you and mom. Find out exactly what needs to happen and get timelines. You don't know what you don't know until you hear it yourself.
 

THAT Gurl

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First of all, sorry about your dad. And I second getting LegalAid involved. Some attorneys will drag probate out in order to charge fees. Once there is no money left then things get miraculously fast-tracked. The bastards have it down to an art form.

Second, congratulations on your impending nuptials. Grumpy and I had a whirlwind romance. Lived together for about a year before we got married. I still didn't have a clue be was grumpy until I signed on the dotted line. I dunno what it is about that little piece of paper that changes people. Ok, not so much change as just let them feel comfortable enough to let the real them come out. Lol

And yep ... Hire a financial planner. Here's another vote for Edward Jones.
 

cdschoonie

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I wish I could give you advice, but I’m in a similar boat myself. Been jobless since Feb 2020, have had 5 abdominal surgeries since then, along with 12 hospital stays. I can’t find a job, since all the experience and training I have I can’t do, due to abdomin pain and if I lift anything over 20 lbs, I pop a new hernia. I tried the VA retraining route, but since it’s been just under 30 years since I discharged, I’m not qualified to get VA help. I am trying to stay on unemployment as long as possible, until my disability gets completely in gear. Hopefully that happens inside of 2 weeks, but who knows.

The only advice I can give is, hold on to what can, keep pushing forward, and keep everything and everyone you close to your. Life sucks, but sometimes it beats the alternative.

Being on this forum (way more so than others) has really helped me. Visiting and dealing with you folks on here, is more times than not, the highlight of my day. At least until my family gets off work during the week.
 

Mr.Glock

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I’ve met you. We talked. Whatever you do, do whatever it takes to stay Debt Free. You’re young, smart and physically can build your own home a little at a time and it will be paid for when you’re done. If you have lived in your current resident for 2 out of the last 5 years, no capital gains. If not and you sell, you can put any gains on some land where you want to live and no taxes owed on it. Best of luck and I reiterate, stay debt free when you get debt free. Holler if you’d like about the property in Choctaw.
 
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Talacker

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Take the first $12,000 and contribute to a Roth IRA for this year and next. This can also serve as an emergency fund. Also, capital gains taxes on a primary residence should be a non-factor unless you have some serious gains.
 

HoLeChit

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Alright, sorry about the asking the question and dissapearing, have had a ton of stuff going on. I was gonna go through and quote messages and answer each one as fit, but that's just too much. I'll summarize everything into a few posts, If I miss anything, let me know.

One: In terms of renting vs selling:

I don't think I could ask for a better place to rent out. My house is perfect for it. @swampratt, think an extra $500 over what you mentioned I could rent my place out for. At least in the current market. Next year it could be $100 less than your estimate. BUT there's a few catches. If I decide I don't wanna be a land lord due to instability, busy with my business, starting a family, stress, etc then I would be selling my house in a year or three. When that happens, my home will be considered an investment property. When selling it as an investment property, I pay capitol gains tax. Right now, capitol gains tax is roughly 20%. But according to Forbes we're in for some good ol tax hikes on the horizon, like this fall. What they say:
Currently all long-term capital gains are taxed at 20%. When you include the 3.8% net investment income tax (NIIT), that rate jumps to 43.4%. If you include state income taxes, the tax rate could rise to as much as 48%.
if I were to sell it now, I pay no taxes. In the future, I may pay 15%, I may pay more. With the tax hikes I have heard that the 15%tax may turn into 27% capitol gains tax. That means my break even (as opposed to selling my house now) is after 14 months of renting. This is assuming that I have zero time vacant, nothing in the house is broken or needs replaced, no late payments, no costs out of pocket, my home value doesn't drop from this all time high (which it will) and I'm only paying 15% capitol gains tax. Thats also assuming that my home value doesn't drop due to the market collapsing or supply skyrocketing, which will both likely happen soon, as the investors buying homes will soon be dumping homes into the market, the cares act forbearance disappearing into the wind, and the fragile economy and rampant inflation causing tons of people to foreclose on their homes in the next year. The fed is also almost guaranteed to raise its rates this fall after the elections, from what I have heard. from what I was told, investors and hedge funds are buying homes at over market, writing them up as a loss, depreciating the homes, and plan on dumping them back onto the market at a loss in the near future to offset the capitol gains increases. This is bad all the way around for normal people. Assuming the market future I honestly estimate it would take me several years of renting just to break even on the point where I am at now. I know, I know, assuming is bad, but I'm trying to play it safe and I don't even know that I want to be a landlord at the moment.

Also, selling my home now and pocketing the cash means that when supply explodes and prices plummet in the next year or three I can be ready to jump on the perfect piece of land that I want, when it becomes available. I'll have the buying power of my proceeds from the home sale, combined with my now nonexistent mortgage payments being saved up.


Two: In terms of getting married, all that jazz. I am not religious, and neither is she. But both of our families are, and her family is comprised of faithful churchgoers and lifelong pastors. Yeah, we technically don't have to get married, but its how she was raised and what they want to see as well, and we want to get married. Guess we're kinda old fashioned.nGetting married before we have kids is essential in our eyes, and to top it off, the benefits she gets/our kids will get from the VA due to us being married will be too much of a benefit to pass up on. As it stands, my family will have mostly free healthcare and paid college for any dependents that I have through marriage. Also, in the event of my death, she would get a fat check for a good amount of time, if I am not mistaken.

I believe in sharing finances to an extent. What we had before getting married is ours. Her house will forever be hers. My house is mine, as are the proceeds from the sale. While there won't be much need, a prenup is definitely something that we will get, as we have both dealt with divorce in our lives with our families, as well as me personally. I guess our future plan for finances is kinda like what we have now, where we pay bills/living expenses proportionally according to our finances, and what is ours individually (investment property/cars/credit cards) are paid by ourselves. When we start a family she wants to stay home most of the time with the kids the first few years anyways, so I guess sharing finances will be a must anyways. But she can still provide enough income to pay for her house when that time comes, and the profit from renting it out will supply her with spending money anyways.


Three: With my dads old place, We got in touch with the attorney. He seems to be sitting on it until my mom gets frustrated and lets him and his "buddy" sell the place for her. But after being harassed about it he stated that she could use a realtor to sell the property while in probate. So we're working on doing that. As mentioned earlier, we'll have to include a clause to say that the home needs to be removed or find someone who will remove it for free. I like both of those ideas, just gotta wait til my mom gets around to calling my realtor to make it happen.
 

HoLeChit

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For the record, the dream home is just a regular home for the most part, but on 20-40 acres, with a 50x80 shop or so. Piddle around a dig myself an awesome fishing pond. Definitely gonna have a big garden, beehives, and some chickens, maybe a few goats. I really wanna raise a few head of Watusi, that would be awesome. Kinda shooting for a semi self sufficient homestead I guess. And property taxes aren't an issue, I get a homestead exemption for my primary residence, thanks to the VA. Figure I'll start with buying the land, then build the shop and get ready for the home. Build what we need with the intention of expanding when we need to. A new kid on the way? Add a bedroom!
 

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Neanderthal

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I'm of the opinion keeping 'separate' money and bank accounts is one of the factors that lead to divorces. I disagree with that advice. You're all in, or you're not.

Me and my wife have done the same for 33 years now. She has her cards and accounts, I have my cards and accounts, and then we have one joint account. We both split the monthly bills and then use the joint account for larger stuff. I can buy my stuff when I want and she does the same. It's worked well, there's never any arguments about money.
 
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BReeves

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Another one that keeps our money separate, works for us in that we have never had an argument over money in the 24 years we have been married. I pay most of the bills she buys the groceries works out about the same. We have everything paid for and pretty substantial savings/investment accounts, we both worked hard to get whear we are and neither one has to ask if they can buy a new toy.
 
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