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Humor in Uniform
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<blockquote data-quote="RETOKSQUID" data-source="post: 3746581" data-attributes="member: 8681"><p>Speaking of young impressionable LTs. While on a deployment to the sand box it was my turn to watch the LT while in the local town.</p><p></p><p>Being somewhat new to the Army he was trying to decide just what his "image for the troops" would be, and I, being a faithful member of the sham shield mafia couldn't in good faith, allow this poor soul to struggle with such an important task on his own <img src="/images/smilies/naughty.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":naughty:" title="Naughty :naughty:" data-shortname=":naughty:" /> .</p><p></p><p>Walking past a Tobacco shop it dawns on me (as he was a smoker). LT, I say, what you need is a Tobacco Pipe! Question is which one. Puzzled he looks at me and says "shouldn't I smoke cigars instead?". No Sir! Cigars are an NCO thing! </p><p></p><p>You see, there's a deep traditional culture of Tobacco use in the military, and it has levels just like everything else. Think about it LT, you always see us Enlisted guys with cigarettes, dip, or chaw. You ever see Tops, or any of the Platoon Sargents without a cigar? Nah, you definitely need a pipe, all the greatest Officers had them! MacArthur, Grant, Burke, Puller, hell, even Patton smoked a pipe! (Was really laying it on thick at this point).</p><p></p><p>Sooooo, after what seemed like an eternity I found it! The gawdiest Calabash Pipe ever made by man. Oh my God! This is it, this is the one you need LT. (At this point I had the shop owner and other customers in on it.) It says you are a thinking man's man, sophisticated, educated, and driven. Others will value your advice because they will know the amount of thought you have put into it. In short, respect. <img src="/images/smilies/new/Thumbup3.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":thumbup3:" title="Thumbup3 :thumbup3:" data-shortname=":thumbup3:" /></p><p></p><p>Fast forward a few days you find yours truly getting an ear full from the Platoon Sargent (as I'm on **** burning detail) because the! GD LT is smoking up the whole ****ing area with that mother ****ing pipe and nasty ass tobacco!<img src="/images/smilies/new/lmfao6.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lmfao:" title="Lmfao6 :lmfao:" data-shortname=":lmfao:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RETOKSQUID, post: 3746581, member: 8681"] Speaking of young impressionable LTs. While on a deployment to the sand box it was my turn to watch the LT while in the local town. Being somewhat new to the Army he was trying to decide just what his "image for the troops" would be, and I, being a faithful member of the sham shield mafia couldn't in good faith, allow this poor soul to struggle with such an important task on his own :naughty: . Walking past a Tobacco shop it dawns on me (as he was a smoker). LT, I say, what you need is a Tobacco Pipe! Question is which one. Puzzled he looks at me and says "shouldn't I smoke cigars instead?". No Sir! Cigars are an NCO thing! You see, there's a deep traditional culture of Tobacco use in the military, and it has levels just like everything else. Think about it LT, you always see us Enlisted guys with cigarettes, dip, or chaw. You ever see Tops, or any of the Platoon Sargents without a cigar? Nah, you definitely need a pipe, all the greatest Officers had them! MacArthur, Grant, Burke, Puller,[B] [/B]hell, even Patton smoked a pipe! (Was really laying it on thick at this point). Sooooo, after what seemed like an eternity I found it! The gawdiest Calabash Pipe ever made by man. Oh my God! This is it, this is the one you need LT. (At this point I had the shop owner and other customers in on it.) It says you are a thinking man's man, sophisticated, educated, and driven. Others will value your advice because they will know the amount of thought you have put into it. In short, respect. :thumbup3: Fast forward a few days you find yours truly getting an ear full from the Platoon Sargent (as I'm on **** burning detail) because the! GD LT is smoking up the whole ****ing area with that mother ****ing pipe and nasty ass tobacco!:lmfao: [/QUOTE]
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