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<blockquote data-quote="Ethan N" data-source="post: 3219848" data-attributes="member: 29267"><p>This. People vastly overestimate the risk of abduction and other threats to children. Is it a risk to send them to the park alone? Yep. Is it an unreasonable risk? I don’t think so. I think it’s a fairly small thing.</p><p></p><p>This is a loooooong response, but as a parent it’s something I care about greatly, so here it goes…</p><p></p><p>Children <em>need</em> unsupervised play for healthy development. People these days are raising a generation of snowflakes who, when they head off to college on their own for the first time, whenever they have problems they just call mommy and she’ll take care of them. Got a bad grade? It’s okay. Mommy will call the professor (yes, this actually happens, and yes, I’ve heard of it first-hand). Most kids these days are given very few opportunities to solve problems for themselves without adults around to help them, and that’s stunting their development into responsible, capable adults.</p><p></p><p>A few people mentioned an 8 year old is not mature enough to go to the park unsupervised or look after a 5 year old. There’s no reason why the average 8 year old can’t be taught to handle that situation safely for short periods of time (depending on where they live…Norman? Yes! Probably not most of Tulsa <img src="/images/smilies/lookaround.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lookaroun" title="Lookaround :lookaroun" data-shortname=":lookaroun" />). No, not everything is appropriate for every age and parents do need to take seriously what their kids are capable of handling responsibly based on their age and individual development, but people infantilize children by underestimating their potential. When I was 8, I was perfectly capable of safely going 10 blocks from home and looking after a younger sibling. Was I some special extra mature kid? No. I was capable of this because I was taught to be. My parents’ expectations demanded that I be able to look out for myself from a young age, and they prepared me for it. I learned how to be aware of my surroundings, recognize unsafe situations, size up suspicious behavior, and politely avoid strangers. When I was 8 I had taken multiple first aid classes and sat in on CPR classes. We were homeschooled so that’s just the kind of thing we did as a basic part of our education. I knew how to pay attention to where I was, where I was going, and where I came from, to find my way and not get lost whether in a city, suburb, or the wilderness. All of this was natural to me because my parents allowed me from a young age to encounter situations where they weren’t around to solve all my problems, and they gave me the resources to learn to handle those situations. Children are capable of much more than we give them credit for and at a younger age than you’d expect. As long as you let them grow and give them the knowledge and skills needed, they’ll constantly impress you.</p><p></p><p>Every kid is different. Some are just plain irresponsible or have other challenges. Parents need to evaluate what each of their kids is capable of and care for them accordingly. Let me emphasize that <strong>parents</strong> need to do this. There’s nothing wrong with grandparents or other family members expressing concerns to parents respectfully. But other than that, everyone needs to <strong>butt out</strong> unless a child is in imminent danger. Maybe @1911master’s grandkids aren’t prepared to safely handle going to the park alone, but if dad believes they are, then that’s that. One thing concerned family members can offer to do is help teach the kids how to be better prepared for all kinds of situations. Maybe offer to take the 8 year old to a first aid class. Or casually talk about experiences you’ve had where you felt in danger, what you did, and what you learned from it. Kids soak up things like that.</p><p></p><p>In closing, my kids aren’t at that age yet, but it’s easy for me to imagine my daughter at age 8 being perfectly capable of taking her little brother to the park alone for an hour. Will I worry? Yes. I’ll be terrified. That’s part of being a parent. But I’ll know that they’re doing something that’s good for them, that I’ve prepared them to do it safely, and that I can’t let my natural fear prevent them from having a full and rich childhood. At some point your kids are going to have to go off on their own and do things that scare you. How well prepared for it will they be when that time comes? Help them learn from a young age.</p><p></p><p>EDIT: Changed “immediate danger” to “imminent danger.”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ethan N, post: 3219848, member: 29267"] This. People vastly overestimate the risk of abduction and other threats to children. Is it a risk to send them to the park alone? Yep. Is it an unreasonable risk? I don’t think so. I think it’s a fairly small thing. This is a loooooong response, but as a parent it’s something I care about greatly, so here it goes… Children [I]need[/I] unsupervised play for healthy development. People these days are raising a generation of snowflakes who, when they head off to college on their own for the first time, whenever they have problems they just call mommy and she’ll take care of them. Got a bad grade? It’s okay. Mommy will call the professor (yes, this actually happens, and yes, I’ve heard of it first-hand). Most kids these days are given very few opportunities to solve problems for themselves without adults around to help them, and that’s stunting their development into responsible, capable adults. A few people mentioned an 8 year old is not mature enough to go to the park unsupervised or look after a 5 year old. There’s no reason why the average 8 year old can’t be taught to handle that situation safely for short periods of time (depending on where they live…Norman? Yes! Probably not most of Tulsa :lookaroun). No, not everything is appropriate for every age and parents do need to take seriously what their kids are capable of handling responsibly based on their age and individual development, but people infantilize children by underestimating their potential. When I was 8, I was perfectly capable of safely going 10 blocks from home and looking after a younger sibling. Was I some special extra mature kid? No. I was capable of this because I was taught to be. My parents’ expectations demanded that I be able to look out for myself from a young age, and they prepared me for it. I learned how to be aware of my surroundings, recognize unsafe situations, size up suspicious behavior, and politely avoid strangers. When I was 8 I had taken multiple first aid classes and sat in on CPR classes. We were homeschooled so that’s just the kind of thing we did as a basic part of our education. I knew how to pay attention to where I was, where I was going, and where I came from, to find my way and not get lost whether in a city, suburb, or the wilderness. All of this was natural to me because my parents allowed me from a young age to encounter situations where they weren’t around to solve all my problems, and they gave me the resources to learn to handle those situations. Children are capable of much more than we give them credit for and at a younger age than you’d expect. As long as you let them grow and give them the knowledge and skills needed, they’ll constantly impress you. Every kid is different. Some are just plain irresponsible or have other challenges. Parents need to evaluate what each of their kids is capable of and care for them accordingly. Let me emphasize that [B]parents[/B] need to do this. There’s nothing wrong with grandparents or other family members expressing concerns to parents respectfully. But other than that, everyone needs to [B]butt out[/B] unless a child is in imminent danger. Maybe @1911master’s grandkids aren’t prepared to safely handle going to the park alone, but if dad believes they are, then that’s that. One thing concerned family members can offer to do is help teach the kids how to be better prepared for all kinds of situations. Maybe offer to take the 8 year old to a first aid class. Or casually talk about experiences you’ve had where you felt in danger, what you did, and what you learned from it. Kids soak up things like that. In closing, my kids aren’t at that age yet, but it’s easy for me to imagine my daughter at age 8 being perfectly capable of taking her little brother to the park alone for an hour. Will I worry? Yes. I’ll be terrified. That’s part of being a parent. But I’ll know that they’re doing something that’s good for them, that I’ve prepared them to do it safely, and that I can’t let my natural fear prevent them from having a full and rich childhood. At some point your kids are going to have to go off on their own and do things that scare you. How well prepared for it will they be when that time comes? Help them learn from a young age. EDIT: Changed “immediate danger” to “imminent danger.” [/QUOTE]
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