Oy ... 
aarrg!
In honor of talk like a pirate day, I feel obliged to tell me favorite ol' pirate joke.
This old pirate pulls his ship into the pier, steps off and ambles into a bar.
He has a pegged leg, a hook on his right hand and an eye patch over his left eye.
He walks in and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, buddy! You look like hell. Are you alright?"
The old pirate mumbles, "aye, malright...malright...how 'bout a bottle of ye best rum."
The bartender complies, handing him a bottle, and then asks, "how didya wind up with the wooden peg?"
The old pirate says, "well...it twas a lovely spreeng marning...I was up top with me foot on the bow of me ship when a shark...jumps out of the water and bites me laig cleen off at th' knee. Me first mate...gives me the wooden peg...right as rain."
"Damn! That's terrible" says the bartender. "What about your hook hand there?"
"Ah ya see...it twas a lovely spreeng marning...I was fishing off th' bow of me ship...when the same shark...leaps out of th' water and bites me hand cleen off. Me first mate...gives me th' hook...right as rain."
"Wow!" says the barkeep. "What about your eye? That same shark do that too?"
"No...ya see...it twas a lovely spreeng marning and I was looking up at the sun...when a seagull sh!ts right in me eye."
"Damn!" says the bartender. "Seagul **** knocked your eye out?"
"No" says the pirate, holding up his right arm, "it twas the first day with me new hook!"
This old pirate pulls his ship into the pier, steps off and ambles into a bar.
He has a pegged leg, a hook on his right hand and an eye patch over his left eye.
He walks in and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, buddy! You look like hell. Are you alright?"
The old pirate mumbles, "aye, malright...malright...how 'bout a bottle of ye best rum."
The bartender complies, handing him a bottle, and then asks, "how didya wind up with the wooden peg?"
The old pirate says, "well...it twas a lovely spreeng marning...I was up top with me foot on the bow of me ship when a shark...jumps out of the water and bites me laig cleen off at th' knee. Me first mate...gives me the wooden peg...right as rain."
"Damn! That's terrible" says the bartender. "What about your hook hand there?"
"Ah ya see...it twas a lovely spreeng marning...I was fishing off th' bow of me ship...when the same shark...leaps out of th' water and bites me hand cleen off. Me first mate...gives me th' hook...right as rain."
"Wow!" says the barkeep. "What about your eye? That same shark do that too?"
"No...ya see...it twas a lovely spreeng marning and I was looking up at the sun...when a seagull sh!ts right in me eye."
"Damn!" says the bartender. "Seagul **** knocked your eye out?"
"No" says the pirate, holding up his right arm, "it twas the first day with me new hook!"
Woo Looo Looo!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts."
The bartender says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts."
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm doing my rum drinking part right now!
