Same for Addicts.
28 Year Old Woman-Physically Healthy-Decides to be Euthanized Due to Crippling Depression
- Thread starter sherrick13
- Start Date
Thanks for your telling this. I have had troubles dealing with what my Dad did and why. What you have said made me look at it a different way. THANK YOU!!!!TL;DR: Don't judge what you don't understand. And always ALWAYS err on the side of compassion.
Or if they decide the help isn't helping.
I have a different perspective on suicide than most here and that's okay. But I'm telling you guys, if you've never lived someone else's life you have no business judging.
I know, because I used to be like some of y'all. "There's help" and "nothing's so bad you need to do that" or "tomorrow will be better".
Well ... Yeah ... Until there is no help, just the same old talking points over and over and over.
And maybe it doesn't seem that bad to you, but how would you know?? You haven't lived my life, just like I haven't lived yours.
And just how many tomorrows does someone have to suffer through??
The first time I ever had a suicidal thought I was in my mid-40s, all my problems had been solved by: me landing a spectacular job and buying my own home, my marriage to Grumpy and my kids growing up and leaving home.By all accounts my life was FINALLY perfect and I had everything I'd ever dreamed of.
An adverse reaction to my blood pressure medication has me absolutely convinced my purpose here has been fulfilled and I was ready to move on to whatever was on the other side. I spent WEEKS researching how to do the deed. Nobody had a clue. I guess it's a good thing I trusted Grumpy as much as I did because his first clue I was planning to kill myself was when I took him to lunch and asked him to help me figure out how to do it without leaving a mess for him to clean up. How much sense does THAT make??Well, when I take Attenolol apparently it makes perfect sense.
Changed my meds and I was back to my old self -- generally happy to still be on this side.
Fast forward to about 4 years ago now and I found myself unable to do ANYTHING for myself and doctors telling me that what I had could quite possibly be as good as I was gonna have it for the rest of my life. I've dealt with chronic pain issues my entire life but chronic pain like what I had pre-tree was NOTHING like what I have now. Plus I was having to ask for help with EVERYTHING. I'm not the person that asks for help every time things don't go my way. I'm the person who sucks it up and figures out a way to get it done.
Not saying that to make any of you guys feel sorry for me -- just is what it is. But I had always said that there was a certain quality of life that I was NOT willing to live without. I will not be a burden to those I love. Nor do I expect them to bankrupt themselves keeping me alive. And for the first couple of years after my accident, every morning I weighed the burden I was to Grumpy versus the pain I would cause him by taking my own life. Good or bad, though I considered taking my own life again, I never reached that invisible point of no return that anyone who considers suicide finds themselves up against.
I am NOT suicidal. What I am is pragmatic. I may have never considered suicide as a viable option after my accident if I hadn't experienced the side effects of that medication. There is really no way to tell. What I do know is suicide had NEVER crossed my mind before taking Attenolol but now that that seed has been planted, it seems like it is just part of my thought process now. I now KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that there ARE situations that I WILL ask for help to end my life -- a diagnosis of ANY dementia-type illness is one. And if the medical establishment isn't willing to help me, then I will say my goodbyes and just do it myself. I am not worried about suffering. That ship sailed every morning when I stagger to the medicine cabinet to get my pain meds. But I will NOT be a burden to my husband. And I will NOT ruin him financially just so I can spend one more day here.
We all are gonna die. I want those who love me to be able to look back at my life with them and understand that I left not because I wanted to leave them, but because I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.
I can say with the utmost certainty that anyone who has committed suicide is not do it because they were weak. Or selfish. If they were guilty of anything, it was of loving their family so much, that right or wrong, they thought they were doing the best they could for their family.
Yes, and in a lot of cases addicts are simply trying to self-medicate those demons out of them.
That's just one of the reasons medical MJ is a valid tool, IMHO. Better that than other options.
Anytime. I'm not one to hide from my warts for this very reason -- you never know who needs to hear it. You didn't have to share. I'd have never known. But now I'm SURE I did the right thing. Thank you.
As THAT Gurl has so eloquently stated, you have no idea if you haven't walked a mile in the sufferer's shoes. While I've always been somewhat of the notion that people should have the option of self-check-out, that opinion has been strongly reinforced by now having my own forever issue.
While I feel the case of the young lady in the article is somewhat unique, it's hard for me to judge her for how she feels. Have you ever spent a significant amount of time around someone who's chronically depressed? It's exhausting. Now, imagine how exhausting it is to be them and living in their head? You have the option of walking away, or at least structuring your time so you're not around them 24/7. They don't have that option. For them it seems like forever is just too much.
In my case I'm not diagnosed with clinical depression. I do however have severe tinnitus. It cannot be escaped, ever. It doesn't go away, ever. Not even when I sleep. It disrupts my circadian rhythm, which means I'm never fully rested and refreshed. Just getting out of bed today took every ounce of resolve I had in me. Trust me when I say that it will absolutely cause you to feel depressed, no matter how well everything else in your life is going.
I've heard similar stories from people afflicted with other issues. One in particular is losing one's sense of taste and/or smell (Ageusia and Anosmia) due to brain or nerve injury. The mere act of sustenance intake becomes a joyless act. Can you even imagine? This was allegedly a major contributing factor in the suicide of INXS singer Michael Hutchence. All told, there are a bunch of medical and mental conditions that can make life fairly intolerable.
Some days the desire to shove a spike into my ear hole is unnerving. Worse yet, my mind has developed its own set of "defense mechanisms" to deal with the tinnitus. I'm not at all happy about those, but I guess it's better than the alternatives? Some people have committed suicide over tinnitus. There have been a couple of high-profile cases due to sudden tinnitus onset after Covid, to include the CEO of Texas Roadhouse (link below). I'm too damned stubborn and ornery for that, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't creep into the back of my mind from time to time. That alone is an intrusive thought that's disturbing to my mental health.
I guess all of this is just to say, if you're one of the people who can't fathom how anything could cause people to want to commit suicide, you should count yourself very lucky. Those of us who can, wish we couldn't!
https://news.yahoo.com/texas-roadhouse-ceo-dies-suicide-124658867.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall
While I feel the case of the young lady in the article is somewhat unique, it's hard for me to judge her for how she feels. Have you ever spent a significant amount of time around someone who's chronically depressed? It's exhausting. Now, imagine how exhausting it is to be them and living in their head? You have the option of walking away, or at least structuring your time so you're not around them 24/7. They don't have that option. For them it seems like forever is just too much.
In my case I'm not diagnosed with clinical depression. I do however have severe tinnitus. It cannot be escaped, ever. It doesn't go away, ever. Not even when I sleep. It disrupts my circadian rhythm, which means I'm never fully rested and refreshed. Just getting out of bed today took every ounce of resolve I had in me. Trust me when I say that it will absolutely cause you to feel depressed, no matter how well everything else in your life is going.
I've heard similar stories from people afflicted with other issues. One in particular is losing one's sense of taste and/or smell (Ageusia and Anosmia) due to brain or nerve injury. The mere act of sustenance intake becomes a joyless act. Can you even imagine? This was allegedly a major contributing factor in the suicide of INXS singer Michael Hutchence. All told, there are a bunch of medical and mental conditions that can make life fairly intolerable.
Some days the desire to shove a spike into my ear hole is unnerving. Worse yet, my mind has developed its own set of "defense mechanisms" to deal with the tinnitus. I'm not at all happy about those, but I guess it's better than the alternatives? Some people have committed suicide over tinnitus. There have been a couple of high-profile cases due to sudden tinnitus onset after Covid, to include the CEO of Texas Roadhouse (link below). I'm too damned stubborn and ornery for that, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't creep into the back of my mind from time to time. That alone is an intrusive thought that's disturbing to my mental health.
I guess all of this is just to say, if you're one of the people who can't fathom how anything could cause people to want to commit suicide, you should count yourself very lucky. Those of us who can, wish we couldn't!
https://news.yahoo.com/texas-roadhouse-ceo-dies-suicide-124658867.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall
I too suffer from severe tennitis as well as severe hearing loss since military service in the 70’s. Good hearing aids properly programmed by a qualified audiologist can alleviate most during the day.
Night -time is a different story. I’ve learned over the years to do extreme exercise prior to going to bed so exhaustion takes over or now to mentally see a big black spot in the sky and make it grow smaller with intense concentration until it gets tiny and I’m asleep.
Sounds strange I know, but doing that for the last 50 years has made tennitis less a problem in my life.
I’m hearing it now since talking about it. About a 5K frequency. The TV volume used to be required so loud even with aids that the wife can’t stay in the room. The VA was generous enough to provide a TV Bluetooth adapter to pipe that audio to my ears even with the TV muted.
Good luck on managing your tennitis.
Severe tinnitus. Check. Birds chirping, crickets having a convention, varying high pitch tones all at once all the time, both ears.
I also have some weird sinus issue for the last 12 years or so. When they drain, they feel like they are draining right into my eustation tubes and occasionally my ears will actually plug up as if wearing foam ear plugs, except from the inside, leaving me almost totally deaf. No amount of nose blowing will clear that up and I've tried everything. Ear poppers, flushing, all of it. When one or both ears plug up I can actually feel my blood pressure rise. The anxiety gets to off the chart levels as I feel like I can't breathe. Of course I can breathe just fine through my mouth but my head doesn't feel that way. Add that on top of tinnitus and it's a pretty friggin terrifying feeling.
I also have some weird sinus issue for the last 12 years or so. When they drain, they feel like they are draining right into my eustation tubes and occasionally my ears will actually plug up as if wearing foam ear plugs, except from the inside, leaving me almost totally deaf. No amount of nose blowing will clear that up and I've tried everything. Ear poppers, flushing, all of it. When one or both ears plug up I can actually feel my blood pressure rise. The anxiety gets to off the chart levels as I feel like I can't breathe. Of course I can breathe just fine through my mouth but my head doesn't feel that way. Add that on top of tinnitus and it's a pretty friggin terrifying feeling.
How much hearing loss do you have? Has your doctor mentioned cochlear implants? The one doc that I went to said I need one in my left ear. Speech recognition was down into the high 50% range on that side. I need to go see someone else as he was only interested in selling hearing aids and implants, so I've blown it off since then. Once in a blue moon my ears will "clear" for a second of two and it's straight up strange how loud everything is, so I'm really skeptical of his diagnosis. I've wondered if when they cut the cochlea during surgery if the tinnitus stops too. Rush Limbaugh had them and he said many times that when he turned them off at night it was profound silence. He said it was actually helpful at times being able to do that.
I literally just got my 10% VA rating for tinnitus last week. I'll be seeing my Service Officer on the 17th to go over getting the aids!
It's mostly all tinnitus for me. I did get a 0% rating for hearing loss on the left ear, but speech recognition is still pretty good. Well, as long as you don't speak in a high register like my wife!
Google is spying on me. This guy popped in my shorts -- he has several mental health diagnoses and was an alcoholic and cocaine addict. He lost his wife to suicide; 2 years later his dad (an MD) committed suicide. He tried to commit suicide and failed. I have watched a ton of his videos in the last couple of days. He has a lot of insight for anyone struggling with their mental health/addiction/and just generally ******, hard times.
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