Doomsday, Obama or Zombies?

[68mustang]

i thought we had zombies in office? Instead of attacking us they're attacking our wallets.

 

[Johnny]

^ just made the sig...

Cool Thanks

 

[Old Fart]

...and it improves my odds to meet Bill F'ing Murray

Never thought of that, but heck yea!

 

[ignerntbend]

The end of the world has got me buying cases of #8 and #6 12 gauge shells. I've got half a shoe box of buck shot loads from #1 to 000.
I'm fixed up on the self defence end, but I'd rather eat a bird than a zombie.

 

[jstaylor62]

Zobama...duh

 

[Okie4570]

DoObamzies

 

[ignerntbend]

I bought about two hundred dollars worth of ammunition three weeks ago. Why did I do that? Doomsday? Obama? Zombies?
No. I bought it because of dumbassism. I only had 18 rounds of .300WSM and knew I might need more by fall when it would be in short supply because of dumbassism. Same with .243, 7mm/08 etc. Dumbassism persuaded me to buy this stuff up because I knew I needed to beat the dumbasses to the punch. I had to shine my banker's shoes with the oil on my nose to buy this stuff. All because of dumbassism.

 

[Old Fart]

And now the latest threat...

 

[Jckellison]

And now the latest threat...

It's a trap as obviously biting a zombie would, in theory, turn yourself into a zombie.

 

[Dale00]

CEASE AND DESIST
March 25, 2012
By Certified Mail

Dear Action Pistol Club administrator:
This law firm represents Haitian American Vodoo Association (HAVA). If you
are represented by legal counsel, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and
have your attorney notify us of such representation.

You are hereby directed to
CEASE AND DESIST ALL DEFAMATION OF UNDEAD HAITAIN
AMERICANS (A.K.A ZOMBIES) BY CHARACTER AND REPUTATION.
Under U.S. Federal law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another’s
character and reputation. Defamation consists of
(1) a statement that tends to injure reputation;
(2) communicated to another; and
(3) that the speaker knew or should have known was false.

HAVA has become aware that you have engaged in spreading false, destructive,
and defamatory rumors about Zombies. Your defamatory statements involved the article
on the website (www.actionpistolclub.com) dated 11/11/11called “Zombie Apocalypse”.
The article portrayed Undead Haitian Americans (A.K.A Zombies) as dangerous flesh
eating monsters that pray on humans and other living creatures during the night. This
image of a Zombie is completely inaccurate.

Bokor is the voodoo sorcerer of Haiti. Bokor traps his victim’s soul by sucking it
out of the body and sealing it in a bottle. Death and burial soon follow. Then he goes to
the grave at night, opens it and calls the victim’s name. The bottle containing the victim’s
soul is passed briefly under the nose to revive the body, and the zombie is led away. As
such Zombies are afflicted with a medical condition and discrimination and persecution
of Zombies is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Modern Zombies are honest hard working undead people. They are just like the
rest of Americans, but do not have any pulse nor brain activity. They are productive
members of society and have been very successful in the local, state, and federal
government. They have become model bureaucrats, and have continually worked toward
building a positive reputation.

The inaccurate and defamatory statements made in the article, along with several
other entities are contributing to degradation of Zombies to a subhuman level. As a result
many members of the Zombie community are unable to find work.
Accordingly, we demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your unlawful
defamation of Zombies and (B) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10)
days that you will cease and desist from further defamation of Zombies character and
reputation.

If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period,
HAVA and the Zombie communality are entitled to seek monetary damages and
equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be
advised that Zombies has asked us to communicate to you that they will pursue all
available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an
order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. We are not saying there will be any
flesh eating, but if there was, it is because Zombies were unable to find work, and need to
eat. If this happened it would because of ignorant people like you. Your liability and
exposure under such legal action could be considerable as Zombies tend to get the
munchies in the early evening.

Before taking these steps, however, my client wished to give you one opportunity
to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days.
Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Defamation Settlement Agreement
within ten (10) days to
The Law firm of Goldstein, Johovawitz & Jihad
C/O ACLU - HAVA.
Minikansas, AK. 91824

I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or
your attorney has any questions, please contact me directly.

Sincerely
Undead Johnnie L. Cochran, Jr. Esq.

P.S. Keep your kids and pets inside at night. They are tender and taste good with
Ketchup.

http://www.actionpistolclub.com/Docs/Zombie_Cease_and_desist.pdf