^^^^^
Officially declared or not a war is a war.
Ask the family members of the 4500+ who died in Iraq or the 50,000+ who died in Vietnam or the 50,000+ who died in Korea whether or not their loved ones died in a war.
Legal definitions not with standing - WORDS count. A rose by any other name is yet a rose and and a war by any other name is yet a war.
Your emotional argument aside, WORDS do count. A Congressional Declaration of War is a set of words that count more than any other on the subject.
Back to your emotional argument, Ask the family members of the 4500+ who died in Iraq or the 50,000+ who died in Vietnam or the 50,000+ who died in Korea whether they'd prefer that their loved on died in a war that was important enough for the government of the United States to fully back by properly declaring it as such, rather than a "conflict" that was more easily abandoned in case the going got too tough?
See, you're not the only one that can play on people's emotions!