Attempted burger/chicken/mortar yesterday.

[BuddyL]

This is getting ridiculous!!! I am sure Obama or Bush one is to blame for this!! Maybe the TPD!!

All I know is there is way too many people beating their meat around here lately.........

I don't care who you are that right there is funny.....................

 

[stewartglock]

And there it is, instant classic.

 

[11b1776]

To funny, I really like the chicken version. Now I'm hungry.

 

[beast1989]

wow... all the renditions are making me lol

 

[870WingBlaster]

You guys missed a significant point in the report.

"When I was running hot to provide assistance(since I am a registered volunteer Deputy Sheriff Trainee in training) I missed a corner while I was adjusting the handcuffs on my mirror and rolled my Kia Sportage that my Grandfather bought me. I hung upside down for awhile trapped in the smoldering wreckage thinking about my life on the 120 acre family compound. Then regained my senses, quickly loosened the ridgeback neck knife(copy) from it's handy sheath on 550 paracord around my neck. Since one arm was pinned against the sunroof, and the other against the console(I'm a big guy) I had to use the folds in my neck to hold the knife, and saw through the seatbelt that I wasn't wearing. I did this because I wanted it to appear I was wearing a seatbelt, when my LEO Brothers showed up to rescue me. Once I was free from the unfastened seatbelt I discovered the door was jammed by one of the 8 pairs of handcuffs that I keep constantly ready so I made a rope out of the large zipties I also keep ready. With the rope I was able to pull myself out of the back window which had been shattered by the accidental discharge of the Bryco/Jennings/whatever really cheap pistol was hidden in the back, not really sure what it was as I had forgotten it was back there until it blew out the window at the 1.5 point in the rollover. I knew it was the 1.5 point exactly as I recall being upside down, looking at the conflict taking place in the country boy parking lot(I have the unique ability to slow things down while they are happening, like my own personal slow motion). Once I was out of the completely totaled Kia, that was in showroom condition before the accident, very unusual for a Kia made in the 60's, but immaculate regardless. I made my way to the Country Boy parking lot. There I found a dead chicken, it appears all 8 rounds that were accidently discharged from my deep conceal weapon in the trunk/hatchback somewhere had completely missed the chicken altogether, even though the Bryco/Jennings/whatever pistol has been the most accurate I have ever shot, somehow the trajectory of the roll, and the fact that it was accidentally discharging must have thrown it off. What I did discover though once I gained my senses, was that I had been shot in the hand...."

I have to stop,,,I could go on and on....

this for the WIN!

 

[870WingBlaster]

so the real question is

is the guy being serious or just a major troll trying to stir the pot?

 

[Keelty]

You guys missed a significant point in the report.

"When I was running hot to provide assistance(since I am a registered volunteer Deputy Sheriff Trainee in training) I missed a corner while I was adjusting the handcuffs on my mirror and rolled my Kia Sportage that my Grandfather bought me. I hung upside down for awhile trapped in the smoldering wreckage thinking about my life on the 120 acre family compound. Then regained my senses, quickly loosened the ridgeback neck knife(copy) from it's handy sheath on 550 paracord around my neck. Since one arm was pinned against the sunroof, and the other against the console(I'm a big guy) I had to use the folds in my neck to hold the knife, and saw through the seatbelt that I wasn't wearing. I did this because I wanted it to appear I was wearing a seatbelt, when my LEO Brothers showed up to rescue me. Once I was free from the unfastened seatbelt I discovered the door was jammed by one of the 8 pairs of handcuffs that I keep constantly ready so I made a rope out of the large zipties I also keep ready. With the rope I was able to pull myself out of the back window which had been shattered by the accidental discharge of the Bryco/Jennings/whatever really cheap pistol was hidden in the back, not really sure what it was as I had forgotten it was back there until it blew out the window at the 1.5 point in the rollover. I knew it was the 1.5 point exactly as I recall being upside down, looking at the conflict taking place in the country boy parking lot(I have the unique ability to slow things down while they are happening, like my own personal slow motion). Once I was out of the completely totaled Kia, that was in showroom condition before the accident, very unusual for a Kia made in the 60's, but immaculate regardless. I made my way to the Country Boy parking lot. There I found a dead chicken, it appears all 8 rounds that were accidently discharged from my deep conceal weapon in the trunk/hatchback somewhere had completely missed the chicken altogether, even though the Bryco/Jennings/whatever pistol has been the most accurate I have ever shot, somehow the trajectory of the roll, and the fact that it was accidentally discharging must have thrown it off. What I did discover though once I gained my senses, was that I had been shot in the hand...."

I have to stop,,,I could go on and on....

Bwa hahahahahaha!

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

so the real question is

is the guy being serious or just a major troll trying to stir the pot?

The son of Chuck Norris aka redneck1861 aka monkeynuts does not kid. He's the real deal.

 

[BadgeBunny]

I have to stop,,,I could go on and on....

Oh ... please don't ... stop ... I didn't think this dead horse could be kicked again but I was WRONG!! LOL

 

[RidgeHunter]

'Ol redneck is such a good sport. I'm really surprised he hasn't posted copies of our traffic tickets or high school detention slips on some forum by now. Such maturity in such a short time, give him a hand folks! Our little boy is all growns up!



Though, I suppose he could just be busy with undercover work. Or busy telling people on the internet he is doing undercover work. Semantics.