What he said about the knock at the door? That's how I feel every time GC's pager goes off. We are members of a plan that deducts money from every member's bank account and gives the money to the family to help them get through financially until all the other things (like insurance, OPM, payroll, OLERS, etc.) can get things in place for them. They notify us by a page when a trooper dies.
I will literally get sick to my stomach when he pager goes off because I know I am gonna a funeral to go to ...