My wife asked me what all the fuss was about the eclipse, so I thought I had a little room to work. I said there was an ancient proverb that during an eclipse if a mans wife took off all of her clothes, laid on the bed, and screamed for her man to ravage her body, she would have good luck for the rest of her life. She looked at me and said he's out of town on business for the rest of the week. So I went into the kitchen and made a peanut butter and jelly.