Dumbest thing ever said to wife or significant other

[BrandonM]

I often make extremely sexually charged propositions to my wife in jest, surely I'm not the only one. Then one day in Tucson, AZ I was driving home from work and we were on the phone. Out of nowhere I spouted off, "maybe later I could hump dat p***y". She didn't mention she was in her car with a friend and that I was on speaker phone. Her friend immediately erupted into laughter. Fast forward about 8 years and she still prefaces our phone calls with "you're on speaker phone" whenever she puts me on speaker. She learned her lesson.

 

[streak]

mine was meant as a compliment but taken horribly wrong. I told her she was the best of both worlds, she is a hot white girl with a nice black ass. Pretty much shut down everything I was thinking about and still 7 years later comes up now and again.

 

[RickN]

Isn't it amazing that most wives can not remember for an hour what caliber ammo to pick up at the store for you, but can remember some dumb comment you made years earlier?

 

[NINEROUND]

Supplied by my wife: the time at church where you told me your second wife dressed better than me. I do remember not sitting with her cause of the orange shoes she chose to wear that day.

 

[Fyrtwuck]

Isn't it amazing that most wives can not remember for an hour what caliber ammo to pick up at the store for you, but can remember some dumb comment you made years earlier?

Yep........they are good about things like that. They seem to have the most selective memory of any creature on the planet.

Where is BB? I thought she'd have a few contributions to this discussion.

 

[BMPregler]

Mine was giving me a hard time about not complimenting her enough, so I told her she didn't sweat much for a fat girl... She didn't see it humorous AT ALL..

I would love to use that, hopefully I never will.

 

[ultimatesooner]

another vote for I do

 

[Foghorn]

Last year the wife an were walking back to my truck after shopping(way to long). As we approached the truck I opened the door and told her to "HUP", then when she got in I said "goodboy"... HUP is my k9 partner's command to get back in truck at work. It was a long ride home!!

 

[flatwins]

I told my ex she needed to get out more after focusing on the kids during their first few years. First night she went out with her friends and met a guy. They're now married.

 

[beast1989]

We were talking about what to eat for breakfast this morning and for some reason I said "Im so hungry I could eat one of your cheeks". She looked kind of puzzled and said "really, why?" My response "They are so fat I believe I could stick to one portion!"

Needless to say she was pissed and I should have probably told her I meant the cheeks on her face. She probably thinks I was telling her that her rump is a wide load.