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  1. #1

    Default Redneck Prepping top 10

    Saw this and thought it was a share.

    A Countdown of the Ten Items in Your Redneck Emergency Preparedness Kit

    10. Smokes and Chew
    Marlboro Lights for a category one hurricane or tornado, Marlboro Mediums for a category two or three, Marlboro Reds for a category four. You need a serious smoke for a serious hurricane. Chew is important because it counts towards your daily supply of vegetables.

    9. Booze
    Hide the Budweiser and have a couple cans of Milwaukee’s Best in case strangers stop by or you need to barter with neighbors. Follow this safety rule for consuming alcohol in emergency situations: beer for morning and Jack Daniels for afternoon and evenings. If you are too drunk to walk then use your ATV, otherwise it will take you forever to get anywhere.

    8. Food
    Slim Jims and -- if you want to live large -- get some mustard for dipping, beef jerky, pork rinds and anything that was on the table that the dogs didn’t eat or wasn’t sprayed with Raid when you were clearing cockroaches during dinner.

    7. A Boat
    A true redneck has a boat in his yard for years at a time without ever using it once. That’s because it’s for emergency purposes. I highly recommend a two-stroke motor that will always start after it’s kicked a few times. Preferably that motor will be a Johnson, because jokes about your Johnson never get old.

    6. Pickup Truck
    A redneck is a man that has less than 50% of his vehicles running at any given time. It’s easy to tell the vehicle that is driven the most by counting the 7-11 hotdog containers on the floor. But when a hurricane hits, it’s certain that a redneck in a Ford F-150 that is held together with Bondo will be pulling your Lexus out of a ditch.

    5. A Dog
    A dog will tell you if something is edible or not.

    4. A Flashlight
    You need one in addition to the light the family uses at night to go out to the bathroom.

    3. A Radio with a powerful speaker
    That way you have something to drown out the wife, kids, mother-in-law, your sister-in-law Crystal, your sister Crystal, cousin Crystal, and your neighbor Crystal and her daughter little Crystal.

    2. Home Security System
    (1) Buy a pair of size 14-16 work boots.
    (2) Put them on the front porch with a copy of your most recent assault charge.
    (3) Put some giant dog dishes next to the boots and court papers.
    (4) Leave this note on your door: "Jake and Buster: I went for more ammo & beer. Back soon. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they messed the mailman up bad this morning. I don't think Satan took part; hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back. The cops will be back too.”

    1. Guns and Ammo
    I’m not talking about the magazine. Looters will be shot on sight and their loved ones can buy their watches and rings back from the pawn shop. And personally, I’d like to say that if you have a gun then squirrel is always on the menu if a disaster causes the traffic to be bad.

    (Get yourself prepared in case you have a shortage of rednecks in your area. Don’t expect the government to be able to get to you or provide for you. And of course, stay loaded my friends.)
    My home page check to see available custom Kydex holsters ready to ship in 1-3 work days.

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  2. #2
    Sponsor reddog1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10

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  3. #3
    Patron TerryMiller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Here but occasionally There

    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10


    I can't claim to be a redneck.

    I don't drink or smoke and both of my trucks run just fine.
    Terry Miller

    It has been my experience that those that vote based on a single issue usually wonder later why there is a bullet hole in their foot.

    “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” ― Winston S. Churchill

    While I own numerous weapons in numerous calibers,
    my favorite weapons for hunting are these:

  4. #4


    I've got the boat!
    Quote Originally Posted by JB Books View Post
    DennisShoddy is the 12th Imam
    Common sense is not a Gift....
    Its a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

    Dennishoddyfeedback thread:


  5. #5

    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10

    I don't drink or smoke either, but I don't think that excludes me just yet....

  6. #6

    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10

    I have a pouch of Levi that has been in the tool chest for 8 years now unopened... Aint all swollen so it must still be good for trading...
    Blitzfike's Feedback
    NRA Endowment Member - NRA RSO

  7. #7

    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10

    I only have a few beers ..... don't smoke or chew but I agree with Ted I wouldn't say I'm completely excluded.
    My home page check to see available custom Kydex holsters ready to ship in 1-3 work days.

    Current Active OSA members use code okshooters to receive an extra 10% off the lowest posted web price.

    My feedback

    facebook :

  8. #8

    Default Re: Redneck Prepping top 10

    Quote Originally Posted by TerryMiller View Post

    I can't claim to be a redneck.

    I don't drink or smoke and both of my trucks run just fine.
    If you buy the tobacco and beer you can start after the emergency.
    "okietom's feedback"

    "If we are to continue to have the freedoms that came of the inspiration of the Almighty to our Founding Fathers, we must return to the God who is their true Author." Gordon B Hinckley

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