so I have always tried to be a good person,help people when I can ,nice to everyone etc. but I have always had this side of me that if you do me wrong I'll hold a grudge forever ,I never forget
This brings me to my wife's family, in the early years of our marriage I did any thing I could to help them,loaned money that never got paid back. fixed numerous heat and air system never asking to be paid and buying parts out of my pocket,the only one that ever help me or acted like he appreciated what I did was her father who passed away last year.
anyway along the way I heard from others that they didn't like me ,thought I was an ******* etc.etc. so I straight up confronted them one thanksgiving and they admitted to it.from that day forward I've had nothing to do with any of them except the now deceased father inlaw. they would call my wife and ask if I could work on the ac's and I always say no. my wife goes to all their family functions with out me. and that has seem to work until now.
now the mother inlaw is very ill and my wife is the primary care giver and she spends a lot of time at our house.this means other family members come to my house to see her. I find I can't tolerate them and I say mean hateful things to them and my wife and her mother. I hate these people so much I try to provoke them so I can take my hatred out on them.
this is destroying my marriage and I miserable because they are around so much,I spend most days in a constant state of rage and I don't know how to stop. Is a there process for learning to forgive people ?
sorry for the long winded rant. venting I guess
P.S.don't hold back tell me what you think I need to hear . it might help
This brings me to my wife's family, in the early years of our marriage I did any thing I could to help them,loaned money that never got paid back. fixed numerous heat and air system never asking to be paid and buying parts out of my pocket,the only one that ever help me or acted like he appreciated what I did was her father who passed away last year.
anyway along the way I heard from others that they didn't like me ,thought I was an ******* etc.etc. so I straight up confronted them one thanksgiving and they admitted to it.from that day forward I've had nothing to do with any of them except the now deceased father inlaw. they would call my wife and ask if I could work on the ac's and I always say no. my wife goes to all their family functions with out me. and that has seem to work until now.
now the mother inlaw is very ill and my wife is the primary care giver and she spends a lot of time at our house.this means other family members come to my house to see her. I find I can't tolerate them and I say mean hateful things to them and my wife and her mother. I hate these people so much I try to provoke them so I can take my hatred out on them.
this is destroying my marriage and I miserable because they are around so much,I spend most days in a constant state of rage and I don't know how to stop. Is a there process for learning to forgive people ?
sorry for the long winded rant. venting I guess
P.S.don't hold back tell me what you think I need to hear . it might help
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