Sending prayers
Dementia is a cruel condition, typically more so for the care giver than the patient. You must see to the care giver's care as much as the patient's care. Care giver often fails before the patient. Speaking from multiple personal experiences, observations.
Asking for intercessary prayer from others is important. But, more important is praying yourself. Doesn't have to be preacher, Biblicaleese, church flowery. Your are just talking with a friend that loves you beyond your wildest imagination. Just talk to Him. Tell Him , you believe in Him, trust Him, what you need.....and, listen. He will communicate back, in many ways. Be open. If we don't ever talk to a friend, how do they know we need help, what we want?
God's hand and love on you and your family. He is the answer to all your needs. Hope you are a true believer. It makes all the difference through difficult times, as well as the good times.....and, yes, in this world, and most importantly, in the next world. By you seeking prayers here, I wonder if you have a church home?? Reach out to a true Bible believing church, denomination less important than being true Bible scripture based. Religion is man's attempt to reach God. Jesus Christ is God's attempt to reach man. No man comes to the Father, but through the Son....not man, not brick'sn'mortar, not priests/preachers. Bricks'n'mortar and man, often gets between one and their relation with God. But, in a real Bible based group, the pastors and congregation will wrap their arms around you and support you in physical issues, as well as the way more critical spiritual issues.
if you don't have a trust, you need to do one now. Multi-year lookbacks can apply to protecting one's estate, impacting survivors' estates, quality of life going forward. It doesn't have to be expensive. Don't laugh, but several places like Suzie Orman, Dave Ramsey, et el, offer inexpensive methods to create your own, program guided, specific to your state laws, and your specific situation. Previously, for $100 you received a CD program to create/maintain/update your trusts/s. Last time I checked for a new acquaintance, I saw it is $200 and everything is created/maintained online. Everything that has a deed, title, serial number, investment vehicles/accounts, etc should be placed/titled into the trust.....that's termed funding the trust. You and your wife would be grantors (persons establishing), initial trustees (persons authorized to conduct trust business), name successor trustees (those becoming able to do business when initial trustees can no longer perform duties), and beneficiaries (those who would benefit from trust terms).
Trust is an entity unto itself. Can avoid probate, Medicare/aid claims of decedent's assets, many other benefits. You also need Durable Power of Attorney (you said you had gotten POA, but then said you needed??? Needs to be DURABLE POA), Will, Health Care Directive, HIPPA Directive for each person. Also, Pour Over Will provision will dump everything else, and that which you miss, into the trust at your passing, avoiding probate. One wants to be destitute, impoverished, flat broke. Probate makes everything in your life public knowledge, and mandates lawyers/government in for a specific piece of your assets. A trust can keep your affairs private, out of public eye, out of lawyers' and government's reach. I also suggest making burial decisions now, including burial versus cremation. Much easier, often much less expensive,,,,,grave diggers are pocketdiggers....er, my bad, businessmen....preying upon the grieving.........than under stress, immediacy of death. Don't have to pay now, but so doing can also protect assets, avoid inflationary increases
I am not an attorney, not offering legal advice. Just a 3/4 century old geezer that has learned more than I ever wanted to about trusts......and lack thereof challenges...... estates, executor role, hospice, dementia/Alzheimer, cancer, MS, Agent Orange, car and other accidents and "on purposes", bad actors, terminally stupid, orphans, life and death, and believing in this life is merely a staging area for the life that really matters. Currently caring for life long military buddy that has lost his VN Agent Orange battle, 100% VA disabled, now in hospice. When he passes in a few days, that will be 22 family and better-than-family losses from my world in 10 years. "Last man standing" has become a reality in my life. Previously, cared for my parents through their home bound journeys for 10 years before that. This has been my retirement. Money is a meaningless, infinitely replenishable resource, heartbeats not.
An internet friendship/interest group if great. But, the in person, real live, eye to eye, touch is priceless in tough journeys. One cannot truly walk in another person's shoes, only put their arm around other's shoulders and walk beside, supporting. Best wishes to you. Lean on a believing body grounded in God's word for that supporting arm.
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Prayers sent brother, keep your head up for the wife.
Prayers. Tough situation
- Joined
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You have my prayers man. I went thru this with 3 family members and it's rough
I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.
Prayers sent
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