Colonoscopy - Jimmie Hoffa is still missing, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

[THAT Gurl]

Yuck! I'm of that age now and am dreading the almighty colonoscopy. Not so much the operation, but the prep!


I'll trade you horror stories. A few weeks ago I went in for a major surgery. I'm deathly afraid of hospitals, doctors, and have never had a surgery before (still have tonsils, appendix, etc). The operation was set for 9 a.m. in the morning, so I'm there bright and early. My anxiety was off the charts. They hook me up to an IV and when 9 a.m. rolls around, the surgeon hasn't shown. 10 o'clock, no surgeon, so they postpone until after noon. 1 pm, no surgeon. I'm hooked to IV all day, no food since the day before, etc. At 5 p.m. they showed up and told me that the doc still hasn't shown up, so they send me home.

Do it!! Grumpy kept putting it off. I finally just made the appointment myself and TOLD him he'd better take off work and do the prep because he WAS GOING.

He had several polyps -- half of which were pre-cancerous. The doc told him he'd better be very grateful I cared enough to make him come have it done because 12-18 months later and we would have been having a MUCH different conversation.

 

[CHenry]

Do it!! Grumpy kept putting it off. I finally just made the appointment myself and TOLD him he'd better take off work and do the prep because he WAS GOING.

He had several polyps -- half of which were pre-cancerous. The doc told him he'd better be very grateful I cared enough to make him come have it done because 12-18 months later and we would have been having a MUCH different conversation.

yep, glad he got it in time.

 

[MacFromOK]

That Propafol is some good ****. Wish I had some of that to get to sleep at night sometimes.

Michael Jackson thought that was a good idea too...

 

[Neanderthal]

Do it!! Grumpy kept putting it off. I finally just made the appointment myself and TOLD him he'd better take off work and do the prep because he WAS GOING.

He had several polyps -- half of which were pre-cancerous. The doc told him he'd better be very grateful I cared enough to make him come have it done because 12-18 months later and we would have been having a MUCH different conversation.

I plan on it after this next surgery, but I'm not looking forward to it!

 

[Cohiba]

A few suggestions:

1. DON'T be afraid to do this. I got my first one at 50 and it wan't scary!!!

2. Have the "medicine" you take before the visit..FLAVORED by the pharmacist. It tastes like horse piss..trust me I know.

The only issue I had was laying on the gurney and the nurse was trying to attach a needle(for the "sleepy" I V later) into the top of my hand. She most have poked me 10-15 times in each hand. I told her...give me that needle, I'll do a better job than you're doing. After about 10 pokes trying to find VERY VISIBLE veins in my hand ...my wife had to walk away..she couldn't watch anymore.

Afterwards being taken into the colonoscopy room I started talking to a nurse. I notice a tv/computer screen and asked if I could watch my procedure. Maybe give me a lighter dose of pain medicine so I could watch the camera. The nurse said..Sure, no problem.

They attached the I V to my hand and told me to count to five. I remember..1,2. Then my wife waking me up after the pocedure.

The most difficult part....again...not flavoring the medicine BEFORE you drink it.

 

[Snattlerake]

Michael Jackson thought that was a good idea too...

Is that what it was? Didn't he have gallons of it though?

That's what we need for convicts to be executed. Just put em to sleep and shoot them. Stop screwing around with the cocktail of drugs. They won't know or ... care.

 

[MacFromOK]

Is that what it was? Didn't he have gallons of it though?

That's what we need for convicts to be executed. Just put em to sleep and shoot them. Stop screwing around with the cocktail of drugs. They won't know or ... care.

Don't know how much he had, but he used it every night and had a Doc to (alledgedly) monitor him while sleeping. Oops...

And yeah, I don't understand the need for complicated execution drug cocktails either. It's not like a hangover or other after-effects are gonna be a problem.

 

[CHenry]

A few suggestions:

1. DON'T be afraid to do this. I got my first one at 50 and it wan't scary!!!

2. Have the "medicine" you take before the visit..FLAVORED by the pharmacist. It tastes like horse piss..trust me I know.

The only issue I had was laying on the gurney and the nurse was trying to attach a needle(for the "sleepy" I V later) into the top of my hand. She most have poked me 10-15 times in each hand. I told her...give me that needle, I'll do a better job than you're doing. After about 10 pokes trying to find VERY VISIBLE veins in my hand ...my wife had to walk away..she couldn't watch anymore.

Afterwards being taken into the colonoscopy room I started talking to a nurse. I notice a tv/computer screen and asked if I could watch my procedure. Maybe give me a lighter dose of pain medicine so I could watch the camera. The nurse said..Sure, no problem.

They attached the I V to my hand and told me to count to five. I remember..1,2. Then my wife waking me up after the pocedure.

The most difficult part....again...not flavoring the medicine BEFORE you drink it.

The prep stuff comes in alot of different forms and the ones I have used didnt taste bad. IDK what horse piss tastes like and dont want to know how you do LOL

 

[okduckhntr]

Number 1 before the humor, if you are 50 or older, GET A COLONOSCOPY!

https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html

I have no idea why but the first thing I asked my male recovery nurse after my lights out Colonoscopy today is, "Did you find Jimmy Hoffa?" The poor 20+ year old kid was perplexed, my wifey rolled her eyes, no I didn't see her roll them I could hear her roll them, and I went back to sleep a few more minutes.

This is my second time round the ole poop chute camera. The first one was in 2014. I was supposed to go ever three years but alas, life.

Precious Bodily Fluids. That was Col. Ripper's (how poignant) soliloquy about the commies taking over.



Precious bodily fluids? How about 6 year old sandwich lettuce? The first time I went through this I found Tinkertoys I lost when I was 5 and the heads of rubber farmers riding rubber tractors from before that. This time was easier however I outsmarted them. They wrote down I was to start my prep at 6 pm the night before and the second dose at Midnight.

Midnight? are you kidding me. I wanted a little more sleep than thirty minutes before my 9 a.m. check in. I started a 3 p.m. and again at 9. Finally got to sleep around 4 a.m. Woke at 8 in a hurry to the bathroom. Arrived at the doctor at 9 and again found a bathroom. Right before the procedure I was still squirting. Can you imagine the wall in the procedure room if I had followed their instructions?

God, I love that movie. George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Slim Plickens, Robert Earl Jones, and of course, Peter Sellers.

 

[CHenry]

Don't know how much he had, but he used it every night and had a Doc to (alledgedly) monitor him while sleeping. Oops...

And yeah, I don't understand the need for complicated execution drug cocktails either. It's not like a hangover or other after-effects are gonna be a problem.

He didnt have gallons, probably 10cc of that stuff would kill an elephant. I think his Dr. wanted him dead and purposely ODed him. Hes in prison for murder I believe.