You can't imagine how this feels. Even if a person is truly noble of heart and mind. This is a good young man, not stereotypical. That is the only reason I have not disowned her. He is a good black guy trying to make it by the white man's rules - he dresses and acts white, my take on it is that he mostly grew up with white kids. The fault lies with me. I am trying to accept this, but honestly - I'd rather her be gay than do this.
That says a lot, and puts things more in context. Good luck to you and them.