Famous, or infamous, things your parents said.

[fishincoop]

I just remembered one. Dad, "Every time you have sex before marriage, put a bean in a jar. After you are married, try to empty the jar, it has never been done."

A college buddy told me that when I got married, but said “….. add a penny to the jar after sex during 1st year of married life, then start taking one out in year 2 after each time.”

After nearly 40 yrs of marriage (with same woman!), I still have money in the jar…!!!

 

[retrieverman]

When I started my own business in 1999, my maternal Grandfather told me two things. He said “you can’t buy business, because there’s always someone with deeper pockets”, and “you can’t beat an inside man”.

In almost 25 years in business, I’ve found both to be 100% true.

 

[1911DA]

An uncle gave me piece of advice when l was about 14 yo.......don't fry bacon when your naked.......

 

[PanhandleGlocker]

“This is your monkey you’re fu**ing, I’m just holding the tail.”

Yeah.. I don’t know either, guys.

 

[Big House]

Dad: "Did I ever tell you the story about the day we picked you out"?

 

[Parks 788]

While living under my parents roof by dad's favorite line to my brother and I was, "This isn't a phucking hotel'. This seemed to always come out when we would either forget to do our chores or he felt we spent too much time with friends on the weekends. My father in law is full of quips and quotes. While at deer camp many years ago he was describing a man he knew who lived in an old cabin that was a nice guy but just never did ANYTHING. work/job, maintenance around the house, cleaning, nothing. He said several times about this man. "He was the laziest man God ever did wind a gut inside." I thought it was a brilliant way to decribe such a man.

 

[THAT Gurl]

I didn't have you kids because you are cute. I had you cuz you are cheap labor.

Looking back on how much it cost me to raise 3 kids (and he had 7) I would have to seriously question his math ... Lol

 

[THAT Gurl]

... more than a mouthful, is wasted ...

I had a guy say that to me in front of a bunch of other folks in the student union at college. We were playing spades one afternoon. He had asked me out a couple of times and I'd turned him down -- NICELY -- both times. I dunno why but that really pissed me off, so without even thinking about it I popped off "Clearly you've never had more than a mouthful ..." You could have heard a pin drop. Lol His roommate told me later that the other guys in our running circle were giving him hell over that -- cuz I was "too nice a gal" for him to have done me that way.

I have no idea what that fella's deal was with me. He was the same guy that told me he'd date me if I'd lose 20 pounds. I told him I could lose 20 pounds but he still wouldn't be able to date me because I didn't date guys who were shorter than me and I didn't figure he had another growing spurt in him ... Truth is I wouldn't have given him the time of day if he was the last guy on earth because he was an *******.

 

[glassparman]

Whenever my father was talking about the struggles of life and paying for things, he always said "you have to have, to have what you have to have". Made sense.

Whenever it was cold outside, he would say "it's burr burr chilly nipper nips. And it's JPC" of course I knew JPC meant just plain cold.

My father always said things like that and it made me laugh as a kid. Now being in my early 60's, I look back and see I passed all that down to my kids when they were growing up.

 

[Snattlerake]

Dad, now mine, "It's so cold there ain't nuthin between here and Alaska but a fence, and it's down."